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EOLOPOESIS. 



AMERICAN 



REJECTED ADDEESSES 



NOW FIRST PUBLISHED 



PROM THE ORIGINAL MANUSCRIPTS. 



l^yj£c^Q Oh^ //Wil, 




NEW YORK: 
J. C. DERBY, 119 NASSAU STREET, 
BOSTON: PHILLIPS, SAMPSON, k CO. 
CINCINNATI: H. W. DERBY. 



^-—^ 







^(5\c. 









Entered according to Act of Congress in the year 1855, by 

J. C. Deebt, 

In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States, for the 

Southern District of New York. 



TO THE DIEECTORS OF THE NEW YORK 
CRYSTAL PALACE. 



Gentlemen : — ■ 



Wlien tlie transparent roof of your enclianted 
castle first invited the sun's rays to descend on its 
miracles of art and its electrified spectators, it was 
understood that the votaries of literature, in common 
with cultivators of the various arts, were about to 
find shelter in the shadow of your protecting wings. 
An excitement, perhaps not observed by you, but in 
truth scarcely paralleled in the history of popular 
sensations, sprang up among those who cater super- 
fluities for the world's fickle palate. Sculptors, 
painters, and confectioners ; musicians, apothecaries, 
authors and mousetrap manufacturers, saw their 
coming glory in your magnificent foreshadowings. 

Ambubaiarmn collegia, pharmacopolae, 
Mendici, mimae, balatrones, hoc genus omne. 

(3) 



Dedication. 



Rumor, with her hundred tongues, announced that a 
mysterious prize, in the form of a castle, wrought 
from a solid nugget of Californian gold, was to be 
adjudged to the author of the best poem submitted 
to the ordeal of your critical eyes. Untrammelled by 
the confines usually allotted on the occasion of an 
opening or closing address, the happy candidates 
were left free as air to select subjects in which they 
felt themselves most competent to shine. 

As the announcement of a vacant office brings 
down an avalanche of hungry aspirants, so did the 
promulgation of this news dart hope, activity, and 
sunshine into multitudes of desolate garrets. Un- 
numbered pens at once went down into inkhorns, and 
the Muses got a holocaust of sleepless nights and 
days. Eyes rolled in fine frenzies, reams of paper 
were blotted, interlined, and transcribed, and the 
number of stanzas which the world had to boast 
underwent a marked statistical augmentation. 

Judge, then, of our consternation, when we first 
learned that our sunshine was moonshine, and that 
you had apparently been deceiving us all for your 
own selfish and unjustifiable purposes. It was some 
time before we could control our exasperated feelings ; 



Dedication. 5 

and when at length an indignation meeting was 
called of the aggrieved parties, without distinction 
of rank, resolutions were passed of unusual spirit, 
redounding considerably to your shame and disad- 
vantage. It was at once determined by many of us 
to throw our priceless productions into a joint stock 
concern, and to stereotype them on our own account, 
not doubting that the public would accord to us more 
fame and emolument, than those which your niggardly 
fingers have withheld. 

We are not sorry to find that retribution has 
overtaken you in the rapid decadence which is now 
the only distinction left to your ill-managed and 
disastrous concern. If any thing could have saved 
you, it would have been the brilliant success and the 
unlimited attraction attending a combined efi'ort of 
all the poetical talent of the country. And it must 
add to your mortification to know, that, in our 
individual and collective opinion, the poems here 
published are considerably superior to any thing we 
have before written. 

Your obedient and injured servants, 

THE AUTHORS. 



CONTENTS. 



Lines written at Chicago. ^^^ 

11 ^v (^i 



BY F. G. H, 



Addeess to a Bookwokm. 



-> 



BY W. C. B • • . 21 

Blouzelinda, a Hexameter Eomance. 

BY H. W. L 31 l-\ 

To A Tadpole. 

BY o. w. H 61 

Emporium versus New York. 

BY Q. E. D 63 

The Unseen. 

BY B. W. E. . , 73 

The Spirit Rappers to their Mediums. ^ 

BY J. B. L 37 o 

The Crockery Makers. 

BY T. B. R 127 

(7) 



8 Contents. 

To Cekito, 

BY G. L 137 

The Song of the Blacksmiths. 

BY J. G. -W 143 

The Poet in the East. 

BY B. T 151 

The Song of the Steamer. 

BY J. G. s. . . , . , . • 157 

Barbara Allen. 

BY N. p. w. . 169 

A Wall Street Eclogue. 

BY T. w. p 185 

The American Congress. 

BY G. w. B. , , • • • • 193 

An Indignation Meeting. 

BY THE COMPANY ••••*. 203 



Notes, 216 



f ims kxliim at Cljimgo. 



m I i. f. 



(9) 



Brave men busily changing every day, — going ahead with 
high pressure force, — all Americanized, all galvanized with 
the same frantic energy. The population rush about on their 
different occupations, — railway engines screaming, steamboats 
puffing on every side ; wagons rattle, men swear, bargain, and 
incite you to their hotels, in the accents of half a dozen 
countries. 

Warburton. 



(10) 



LINES WRITTEN AT CHICAGO. 

BY F. G. H. 

TJOME of the Indian's wild-born race, 
■*•-'- The stalwart and the brave, 
Alike their camp and hunting place, 

Their battle field and grave ; 
Where late gigantic warriors stood 
As thick as pine trees in the wood, 

Or snipes on Jersey shore ; 
" Tecumseh,'' '' Beaver,'' and " Split Log," 
And " Keokuk," and " Horned Frog/' 
And " Blackhawk," "Wolf," and " Yelping Pog," 
And " Possum Tail," and "Pollywog," 

And many hundred more ; 

cii) 



12 Lines weittex at Chicago, 



Where to repel their fierce attack 
Fort Dearborn reared across their track 

Its log-constructed walls ; 
For forty years these fronts of wood 
The tempest and the foe withstood, 
And many a night of fire and flood 
The dauntless garrison made good — 

Their supper in its halls. 

Expanding far to left and right 
Thy prairies stretch beyond the sight 

Their never-ending sea, 
Amid whose wastes of soil and sand 
The traveller out of sight of land 
May die (if nothing comes to hand) 

Of hunger or ennui. 
Far rolls the interminable glade, 
"Without one friendly tree for shade 

To break the general trance ; 
With nothing distant, nothing near. 



Lines written at Chicago. 13 



Nothing to which the eye may steer, 
Save one eternal blank and drear 
Monotonous expanse. 

Green grass is waving in the wind, 

Overtopped by greener weeds, 
And agues peep from every leaf. 

That he may run that reads ; 
And flowerets fresh, of many a hue, 
Scarlet and white, and pink and blue. 

Exhale a rich perfume ; 
And dazzling tints and outlines true. 
Mellowed and mixed, bring back to view 

The carpet of my room. 

On distant hills, of soaring height, 

A thousand miles away, 
Gay rivulets fall, and fountains bright. 
And torrents plunge and flash to light, 

And foam in quivering spray ; 



14 Lines written at Chicago. 



But here, dead level banks among, 
With current neither swift nor strong, 
And color greatly like souchong, 
The lazy creeklet soaks along 
Its mud-encumlDered way. 

IVe travelled on this miry road, 

In luckless days of yore, 
When its half-conscious living load 

The lumbering stage coach bore ; * 
And when they groaned and prayed for sleep, 
And struggled hard their seats to keep, 

And bounced against the door. 
The carriage made a sudden stand. 
The driver lashed his four in hand, 
One general scream was uttered, — and 
Down sank the disappearing band : — 

I never saw them more. 

And yet your prairie has its use. 
As I "oroceed to show. 



Lines written at Chicago. 15 



For where the soil is ten feet deep 

The ten-foot corn will grow ; 
And when the speculators came 

And talked of a canal, 
And got their grants and proved their claim 

From Dearborn to La Salle, 
Then rushed the emigrating train, 
And Dutch and Irish poured like rain. 
And sharp Downeasters thronged amain, 
And wagons jostled on the plain, 

Like coaches in Pall Mall. 

Then, as beneath th' enchanter's wand, 

A populous city sprang. 
And words and blows on every hand 

In clattering concert rang ; 
A thousand axes fell like hail, 
A thousand hammers urged the nail, 
And handsaws told their screeching tale, 

To swell the general roar. 



16 Lines written at Chicago, 



Squatters and settlers pressed ahead, 
Nor stopped, nor slept, nor went to bed, 

Nor once the work gave o'er. 
Till streets and squares stood forth to view, 
And houses rose, — and house lots, too, 

A hundred fold and more. 

I stood upon the cupola 

Of the Tremont Hotel ; 
I saw the domes before me rise. 

The lake behind me swell ; 
I thought upon the by-gone days. 
When nature wore a different phase, 

And man a different skin ; 
And stretching far through plain and swamp 
I saw the Indian's fiery camp, 
And heard the buffalo's marching tramp, 
And felt the mammoth's earthquake stamp. 

And all that once had been. 



Lines written at Chicago. 17 



A sudden change came o'er my dream ; 
I must have waked, and dropped my theme, 
For ships and cars, in fire and steam, 

Begirt the horizon round ; 
Tall houses rose, with shops in front, 
And bricks, piled up as bricks are wont, 

In cloud-capped turrets frowned ; 
And through the living, boiling throng 
Thundered a thousand carts along. 
And railroads howled their shrieking song 

Across the groaning ground. 

Chicago ! thou shalt shine in verse, 

As my adopted pet ; 
Thou newest slice of this new world, — 

Save what is newer yet. 
Thy structures seem of yesterday, 
And shine like scenery in the play 

Just pushed upon the stage. 
The oldest native in the place, 
2 



18 Lines written at Chicago. 



Amidst the thronging, motley race, 
Is a young girl, all bloom and grace, 
Just eighteen years of age. 

IVe sought in vain for something old, 
Some crumbling stone with moss and mould, 
Some tottering arch in proud decay, 
Some dungeon vault shut off from day. 
Some slab with unknown ciphers traced. 
Some choice bijou of antique taste, 

But could not find the thing. 
There's nothing old but lake and mud, 
And these date back beyond the flood. 
Yet even the lake is youthful now. 
No wrinkles on its azure brow 

The signs of dotage bring ; 
And the old mud, whose depths began 
Before the memory of man, 

Seems newer every spring. 



%)ikm to K ^ooEkm. 



is m, c |. 



(19) 



All in a college study, 

"Where books were in great plent}^, 
This rat would devour 
More sense in an hour 

Than I could write in twenty. 

Corporeal food, 'tis granted, 

Serves vermin less refined, sir, 
But this, a rat of taste. 
All other rats surpassed, 

For he preyed on the food of the mind, sir. 

Shenstone. 



(29) 



ADDRESS TO A BOOKWORM, 



BY W. C. B. 

TjlAIR insect, that with microscopic jaws, 
■*■ And planted legs, dost eat thy tardy way, 
Making deep havoc in my shelves and drawers, 
And turning sense to dust, by night and day, 
Sapping a solemn creed with sturdy bore. 
And sinking shafts in patriarchal lore, — 

Fair insect, on thy advent to my room, 
I hail thee in the fulness of delight ; 

I will not chase thee out with brush and broom, 
But let thee choose thy literary bite. 

(21) 



22 Address to a Bookworm 



I greet thee for the service thou hast done. ~ 
The world needs scavengers, and thou art one. 

Come with thy comrades, — see thou bring'st 
enough, — 
I'll close a contract with thy mining corps 
For one deep cut through hills of trashy stulf. 

Through reams of verse and novels by the score. 
Couldst thou but eat them all, thou'dst take thy 

place 
With benefactors of the human race. 

But thou'rt a gourmand of a nice degree, 

And thy fastidious palate knows what's what ; 

Eomans and Celts have catered bits for thee ; 
Thou din'st with Horace, and thou supp'st with 
Scott ; 

Wit, science, song, philosophy, and law 

Regale, by turns, thy cultivated maw. 



Address to a Bookworm. 23 



Terraqueous maps are a bonne bouche to thee, 
If all be true that Shenstone strove to utter ; 

And seas and rivers are thy dish of tea, 
And kingdoms fall to make thy bread and butter, 

And mighty continents are swallowed up, 

And oceans fail, because thou needs must sup. 

A pious sermon is thy Sunday's meal. 

That feeds thy appetite with doctrine sound. 

And crumbs of comfort, such as saints might steal, 
Are but thy entremets in unction browned ; 

And tougher dogmas, which thou canst not follow, 

Are left behind for aged dames to swallow. 

Thy hungry stomach can digest the laws 

As well as any counsellor himself ; 
And he that's looking after legal flaws 

Had better dog thy course along the shelf. 
Where constitutions, broken every day, 

Attest the havoc of thy greedy way. 



24 ADDRESS TO A Bookworm. 



Why wilt thou spoil such yaluable lore, 
When cheaper food may easily be found ? 

My papers of exchange, a goodly store, 
Are at thy service, open and unbound : 

Thoult find- them- spicy, savory, tart, and:new, 

And stuffed with tales incredible, yet true. 

What say'st thou, slanderer ? — lies make thee 
- r sick, 

And editorial prosings turn thy brain ; 
And patriotic twaddle, all too thick, 

Distends thy stomach with a windy pain ; 
And foreign correspondence, tome on tome, 
Is what the printer's devil cooks at home? 

On public dinners thou disdain^st to dine. 
And, parched witli thirst, declin-'st to pledgor 
toast. 

Such things go down with sillier throats^-than thine, 
But.thou^ ---teetotal temperance. is thy boast ; 



Address to a Bookworm. 25 



And dinner speeches, trimmed with loud applause, 
Destroy thy relish and fatigue thy jaws. 

Thou art no cannibal, else thou might'st eat 
Ten thousand Turks and Russians at a meal ; 

And fifteen hundred Frenchmen for a treat 
Be served in gunpowder and skewered with 
steel ; 

And if thy appetite should prove unbounded, 

Might'st bolt a bulletin of killed and wounded. 

We offer thee a dainty bill of fare — 
Reports of speeches, controversies, news, 

Opponents roasted, rivals done up rare. 
And squibs, in which the devil gets his dues, 

Tidbits of scandal, repartees polite, 

And indignation meetings called at sight. 

Wilt thou not bite at such attractive bait ? 
Then try the lighter portions of our feast — 



26 Address to a Bookworm. 



Approving puffs, according to tlie price, 

And saintly characters of knaves deceased ; 
Light, windy speeches, ladies' dear-bought jewels, 
Defined positions and expected duels. 

All things are done by clamor in these days — 
By talking, bragging, advertising, puffing 

Handbills, stump speeches, circulars of praise ; 
Our gaping age can hardly hold the stuffing : 

One keg of ink one volume finds enough — 

It takes two kegs, at least, to sell the stuff. 

Spur up, thou laggard ; printing gains on thee. 
And books are made much faster than con- 
sumed ; 

I greatly wonder what the world will be 
When modern Herculaneums are exhumed. 

They say papyrus turns to Bovey coal ; 

Think then of Harper's mine and Astor's hole. 



Address to a Bookworm. 27 



I want a use for undemanded books, 

Such as are published, not to read, but sell — 

Editions large worked off by hooks or crooks, 
When blocks and stones would answer just as 
well. 

They go by cart loads to the east and west, 

And sinks and bakers' ovens know the rest. 

IVe told the builders in Fifth Avenue, 
Who run up palaces for tradesmen fat. 

That literature is now upholstery too, 

And books are made for furniture — that's flat. 

I'd sell them by the perch to introduce 

Some stylish, new, and ornamental use. 

If books, like bricks, in mortar could be laid, 
A modern Athens might be raised at once ; 

And learned walls would cast their classic shade, 
Even though the unconscious tenant were a 
dunce ; 



28 Address to a Bookworm, 



And solid alcoves might be formed, excusing 
Their owner from all duty of perusing. 

But books are hardly fire proof, even in lime, 
And paper's quite combustible, 'tis said. 

Well, get this library insured in time ; 
I once insured one against being read. 

And no disturbance broke the calm profound. 

Save once a month, when Betty's brush went round. 

Taustus invented printing, and men think 
The devil helped him at his wicked job, 

Counting on future use of types and ink 
As hooks to catch the unsuspecting mob. 

But here he missed it. These our home-bred 
Turks 

Eschew his Satanship — and all his works. 



iIoH^dmk. 



JB,ty:dimzUx 3^omattce. 



Is 1. m, f . 



(29) 



Fuggi tutta la notte, e tutto il giomo 
Erro senza consigKo e sen2a guida, 
Non udendo o vedendo altro d' intorno 
Che le lagrime sue, che le sue strida. 

Cibo non prende gia ; ch^ de' suoi mali 
Solo si pasce, e sol di pianto ha sete. 

N^ pero cessa Amor con varie forme 
La sua pace turbar mentr' ella dorme. 

Tasso. 



(30) 



BLOUZELINDA. 

A HEXAMETER ROMANCE 

BY H. W. L. 



CANTO I. 



TN the far down east, on the drizzly shores of Pe- 

-■■ nobscot, 

Among pine trees, lay the little village of Mudfog ; 

An upstart place, grown out of a Yankee loca- 
tion, 

Inhabited mostly by squatters mingled with In- 
dians, 

Who chopped down trees and built log houses and 
wigwams, 

And subsisted chiefly on fish, potatoes, &c. 

(31) 



82 Blouzelinda 



Among them were some who took their guns in 

the morning, 
And went to the forest to shoot coons, rabbits, and 

woodchucks, 
Which they brought home at night to cheer their 

supperless spouses. 
And some played possum, and took themselves to 

the grog shop, 
Where they called for whiskey, and drank gin 

sling till they got drunk. 
Then staggered home late to abuse their wives and 

their children. 

A jolly old cobbler lived just in the edge of the 

clearing, 
Who mended old shoes till he made them equal to 

new ones, 
And by common consent shod most of the people 

in Mudfog. 
The boys gathered round him to see him hammer 

his lapstone. 



Bj^OXT-ZlXlND^A. 33 



And blessed their stars that he didn't serve them 

in the same way, 
And thought best to keep good terms with Crispy 

the cobbler. 

One daughter he had, a buxom young lass, about 

nineteen, 
With corn-fed cheeks, light hair, and eyes like a 

weasel, 
Who knew how to churn, milk cows, make butter 

and hoe cakes. 
And waxed long threads, also stitched up soles for 

the old man. 

And many young swains who lived in the neigh- 
boring houses. 

And many young Indians who had no houses to 
live in, 

Came day after day to woo the fair Blouze- 
linda, 

3 



34 Blouzelinda 



And hung round the door, and poured their sighs 

to the east wind ; 
But she was as cold as the snows on the top of 

Katahdin, 
And laughed at their sighs, and tossed her delicate 

nose up. 
And vowed she would wed no man but Solomon 

Wheelwright. 

Now Sol Wheelwright, I regret to say, was a 

rowdy. 
Who played all fours and kept late hours at the 

grog shop, 
And forgetting his debts and the girl he had just 

got engaged to, 
He left Mudfog, made a slope, and went off to 

Texas. 

Poor Blouzy looked forth from her usual seat in 
the window. 



Blouzelinda. 35 



And saw his coat tail as it turned the farthermost 

corner ; 
And when she made signs by tearing her hair out 

by handfuls, 
Sol coolly looked backward, and placed his thumb 

on his nose point. 

Then various opinions at once broke forth in the 

village ; 
Some boldly affirmed that they thought Sol ought 

to be talked to ; 
On the contrary, others declared it was good 

enough for her. 

Lone, sad, loved, and left was then the fair Blouze- 
linda ; 

Her cows went unmilked and her hoe cakes burned 
in the bake pan, 

And she wandered about like a person nearly disr 
tracted, 



36 Blouzelinda 



And seemed to be pondering on something sudden 
and dreadful ; 

And at length, one day, when Crispy got up in the 
morning, 

And came down stairs just at six, expecting his 
breakfast, 

The cage door was open, and lo, the bird had de- 
parted. 

A sad man at heart was then poor Crispy the 

cobbler; 
And he caught up his hammer and beat his bench 

with excitement. 
And entertained thoughts which seemed for a time 

suicidal, 
And instinctively twisted a small round cord made 

of waxed thread. 
But at length he got cool, and determined to take 

a short walk first. 
And go down to the wharf and inquire for news 

of his daughter, — 



Blouzelinda. 37 



When up jumped an Irishman dressed in the garb 

of a Jack Tar — 
" An't plase your honor, if it's jist the young lady 

you're seekin', 
Ye'U find her aboard the big ship that has sailed 

for New Orleans." 



CANTO II. 

When New Orleans was less of a place than it 

now is, 
There arrived one morning a lumber brig from the 

eastward, 
And a girl hopped ashore without any bonnet or 

shawl on, 
And asked the Creoles if they knew one Solomon 

Wheelwright. 
Then the good Creoles, when they saw her state 
. of confusion. 



38 Blouzelinda 



Took pity upon her, and asked her a number of 

questions ; 
And having done this they gave her a number of 

answers. 
One said he had seen a young man just like the 

description 
Who was coaxed one night to enlist, while drunk, 

for a soldier, 
And then was marched off next day to fight the 

Camanches. 
Another knew Sol as well as he knew his own 

father, 
And had seen him set off the night before in a flat 

boat. 
To peddle out trash among the settlers and In- 
dians. 

Then Blouzy leaped up, and said, '' Now, Sol, I 

have caught you ; '^ 
And she made tracks fast for the far-off country 

of Indians, 



Blouzelinda. 39 



And travelled alone through swamps, woods, jun- 
gles and prairies. 

All day she marched in the burning rays of the 
hot sun ; 

All night she slept on the damp, cold couch of the 
bare ground. 

Sometimes she didn't get any thing to eat for a 
fortnight, 

Then had to dig roots and bolt cold frogs for her 
breakfast. 

And whenever her hunger was just appeased for 

the moment. 
She would straightway pause to admire the 

scenery round her ; 
She saw big trees shoot up their trunks into 

steeples, 
Each bearing at top a luxuriant cluster of 

branches ; 
And all down the sides grew knots of awkward 

dimensions, 



40 Bh-av^z-Brh i^" D Av 



Apparently remnants of what had been formerly 
live limbs, 

"Which had died prematurely, it seemed, for want 
of the sunshine. 

And the old " long moss " hung down from the 
bark and the high boughs. 

Like beards once left by the fierce buccaneers in 
the war times, 

Giving now to the whole of the scene a remark- 
able aspect. 

And when she sat down to rest on the end of an 
old log. 

Surrounded by flowers shooting up in every direc- 
tion, 

And saw the small squirrels eat nuts that fell from 
the beech trees. 

She thought with a sigh on the corn cakes eaten 
at Mudfog. 

But life in the woods now began to injure her 
wardrobe, 



Blouzelinda. 41 



And her very best gown was reduced to rags and 

to tatters ; 
When she met an old Indian, half horse and half 

alligator, 
Whom soon she persuaded by signs to lend her his 

blanket, 
From which she contrived to make her a new suit 

of clothing, 
That lasted her afterwards about two years and a 

quarter. 
From this time forth she dressed in the skins of 

the wild beasts, 
Which she bought of the Indians, or shot with her 

own bow and arrow ; 
And thus she went on like the children of Israel 

before her, 
And spent forty years in the wilderness, wander- 
ing always, 
Employing her time in hunting for Sol and the 
',c*a I'':, ^ji^ beasts. 



42 Blouzelinda 



And many exploits were performed by this wan- 
dering damsel ; 

She killed a great rattlesnake, full six feet and a 
half long, 

And out of his skin she made her a nice pair of 
stockings ; 

And she met a huge bear, who was going to pro- 
ceed to devour her. 

When he altered his mind, and ran, in a fright, up 
a gum tree. 

Now, beauty has been pronounced the most fading 

of flowers. 
And envious time had dealt its work upon 

Blouzy ; 
Her corn-fed cheeks shrunk up like an over-baked 

apple. 
Her weasel eyes sank back one inch in their 

sockets, 



Blouzelinda. 43 



Her uncombed locks stood out like spokes of a 

cart wheel, 
And slie grew such a fright that the very squaws 

were afraid of her. 



CANTO III 



Now Sol Wheelwright had been leading the life 

of a scapegrace, 
And trapped raccoons in the country next to the 

mountains, 
And had drunk more rum than runs in the big 

Mississippi, 
And got into debt when any body would trust 

him, 
And had had three wives, and was looking out for 

a fourth one. 
When he got used up, and, of course, broke down, 

at the same time. 



44 BXOUZELINDA 



And, as most men thought, was lying now on his 
death bed. 



By one of those strange freaks offortnne which 
^_ ^. .don't often happen, : _ ^ iiedl 

Just then Blouzelinda came striding out of the 
-r:- .- ^ brushwood, ' y " 

And heard men speak of the case of Solomon 

Then her faded cheeks flushed up with a beautiful 
crimson. 

And her deep-sunk eyes shot forth unusual bright- 
ness, 

And she rushed to the couch where poor old Sol 
lay extended, 

And gave him a hug that might have done honor 
.:^;^ ^ to a she bear, ^j _: :c5w-i:':0ir ^si ait ::l 

And said, '' Dear Sol, here's your Blpuzj come to 
be married/' 






B L<) U'X B L I Nl> A V 4S^ 



Dying Sol looked up with a look of bewildered 
amazement, 

And said, '' Now, 'tain't ; " then said, " Why, so it 
is, sartain ; '' 

Then turned on his side, and said, " I feel leetle 
better ; '' 

Then dropped fast asleep, and awoke in a fine per- 
spiration ; 

Then said, " Dear love, for your sake I'll consent 
to recover/' 

And in one month Blouzy became the fourth Mrs. 
Wheelwright. 



In the far north-west, on the utmost bounds of Ne- 
braska, 

Where nature is prodigal of gifts to all that may 
ask her, 



46 B LOUZELINBA, 



With every eonyenience to make its inhabitants 
feel right, 

On the bank of a lake stands the thriving city 
of Wheelwright. 

It is well laid out, with streets at regular an- 
gles, 

And a tall flagstaff displays the stripes and the 
spangles. 

It has mines and springs, and of water powers any 
number, 

And sawmills that toil day and night to cut up 
the lumber ; 

With a future hotel, of which you perceive the 
foundation. 

Capacious enough to take in the next genera- 
tion ; 

With a spirited press that sends forth a weekly 
newspaper. 

And six railroads, chartered all by the last legis- 
lature : 



Blouzelinda. 47 



Witli red-cheeked children running round, rough, 
ragged, and frisky, 

And red-faced Indians that barter coon skins for 
whiskey. 

Outside of the town, in the rural new ceme- 
tery,— 

Which was laid out some months before there 
were people to bury, — 

Are seen two graves of exactly equal dimen- 
sions, 

(Showing here, at least, that the grave permits no 
dissensions ;) 

And a broad slate-stone, procured, it would seem, 
by subscription, 

Spans both turfs at once, with the subjoined touch- 
ing inscription : — 

''The grateful citizens, wishing always to deal 
right. 

Have raised this stone to their pioneers, S. and B. 
Wheelwright." 

See Note, page 218. 



®0 a f %0lt 



V w. m, ». 



(49) 



::f3e > API2TO<^ANOY2: BATPAXOI. 



Beneath the water's depths profoiind 

We dance in mazy tracks, 
And send \\dth bubbling, croaking sound, 

Our brekekex, coax. 

The Frogs of iVKisTOPHANES, 



(50) 



TO A TADPOLE. 

BY 0. W. H, 

rPHOU nimble, polymorphous thing, 
•*■ With limbs within thee bound, 
Depending on thy caudal fin 
To scull thy body round ! 

I fain thy character would read, 
Prom signs that thus prevail. 

And swear thou hast a waggish head 
Onsuch a waggish tail. 

Thou navigator of the ditch, 

If life in mud be sorrow, 
Cheer up — for he that dives to-day 

May live to jump to-morrow. 

(51) 



6i To A Tadpole. 



" No one on every side is blest ; " 

So, prithee, do not wail, 
Because thou canst not have at once 

Thy four legs and a tail. 

Though now thy sphere be circumscribed. 

Thy motive organ small. 
Thou soon shalt leave thy peers behind. 

And leap beyond them all. 

Though urchins, in contemptuous tone. 
May brand thee Polly wog, — 

Think of the destiny that waits 
The future of the frog ! 

To doff thy gills and find thy feet, 

To seek the solid ground, 
And shake the griefs of life away 

In one delicious bound ; — 



To A Tadpole. 53 



To sit and muse o'er flood and fell, 
And watch the billows flow, 

While bobolinks wheel in air above. 
And horn pouts swim below ; — 

To cast a retrospective glance 

On tadpole times of old, 
And contemplate thy vanished tail. 

Even as a tale that's told ; — 

To sit beneath umbrageous reeds, 
Thy fervid limbs to soak, 

And pour, in deep, astounding peals, 
The thunder of thy croak ! 

I fain would see thee in the pool. 
Thy transmigration done. 

Essay to take thy awkward steps. 
And stretch thy legs for fun. 



6i To X TADPOLE 



The insect on the neighboring leaf 

Is thine illusive prey, 
For when thou jump'st to hold him fast, 

He jumps the other way. 

'Tis thus, if I remember right. 

The poets moralize. 
That " happiness allures from far," 

Even " as we follow flies." 

Thy fathers marched from pool to pool. 

As Windham^s legends tell, 
And solemn, deep, unearthly sounds 

On midnight slumber fell. 



The startled deacons left their beds; ' 
And thought of judgment coming, 

" For in the air they did declare 
Was a dreadful, awful drumming." 



To A Tadpole. 55 



No wonder thy sepulchral peal 
Should fill them all with fear ; 

A hollow, basso-barytone, 
So guttural, deep, and clear. 

When Aristophanes in Greek 

The tone essayed to hit, 
" Pompholygopaphlasmasin " 

Was near as he could get. 

But this implies the bubbling sound 
That voice in water makes : 

Thy unimpeded, natural song 
Was brekekex, koax. 

Yet various croakings must be found, 

Since many frogs there be. 
Both bull frog, tree frog, speckled frog, 

And toad of low degree. 



56 To A Tappole. 



And though pretenders still appear, 
"Whose croak might pass for good, 

They want the Acherusian pitch 
Of thy primeval brood. 

Thy ancestor of ^sop's time 
Swelled till his boiler burst : — 

Of all the foibles of the frog 
Ambition is the worst. 

But thou, more wise, dost warning take, 

Nor enviest life that's brief : 
The ox with fat distends his skin 

To furnish earlier beef. 

Thy swarming race, from Nilus' banks, 
Were Pharaoh's plagues of yore, 

When kneading troughs and plastic dough 
The web-foot impress bore. 



To A Tadpole. 57 



What thougli the Egyptian made his tomb 

The rock-built pyramid ? 
No one now knows if king or cow 

Within its cave be hid. 

But thou dost make thy resting-place 

Deep in primeval stone, 
And takest thy long, unbroken sleep, 

'' Dread, fathomless, alone.'' 

And when old rocks are cleft In twain, 
And miners' tools are picking, 

'Tis said they sometimes turn thee out 
Alive, awake, and kicking. 

They say that erst 'mong giant birds 

Batrachian reptiles crept. 
And Greenfield's rocks along her streams 

Their footprints yet have kept. 



58 To A Tadpole 



Such tales may do on lecture nights 
For gaping gulls to swallow : 

The Jew Apella may believe ; 
You don't catch me to follow. 

Thou present tadpole, future frog, 
Thou hydropath in grain, 

Boasting that thou art never dry, 
Though I may thirst in vain,— - 

A ducking for a scolding wife 
Would pastime prove to thee, 

And ditches round Sebastopol 
Commodious lodgings be. 

Beware ! for dangers lurk around 
To pounce in one fell swoop : 

The angler seeks his pickerel bait — 
The Frenchman wants his soup. 



To A Tadpole. 59 



The truant-boy beside the brook 

May yet abridge thy term. 
And try thee with his tempting hook 

And tidbit of a worm. 

Beware ! for when thou opest thy mouth 

To clutch the gilded snare, 
He^U drag thee upwards, bolt upright, 

And sprawling in the air ! 

Farewell ! Methinks IVe flattered thee, 
And warned thee of thy doom. 

Traced thy illustrious pedigree, 
And shadowed forth thy tomb. 

A silent pang creeps o^er my breast, 

And fills my boding heart. 
I cannot say farewell again — 

Not yet, at least, we part. 



60 To A Tadpole, 



Tliougli adverse waves around us roll, 
And winds bring notes of sorrow, 

Well strive to hold our courage up, 
And brace us for to-morrow. 

And though my hairs are getting thin, 
And thy short tail is shorter, 

"Well struggle yet a while to keep 
Our heads above the water. 

And we will sing a brave duet 

On life's eventful dream, 
And I will make the poetry. 

And thou shalt make the theme. 

And when this planet shall explode. 
And send us through the air, 

They'll find our bones in future rocks. 
And wonder what they were. 



Emporium krsus Sefo fork 



is f . C i 



(61) 



■-T 



TT 



"What has been the fate of many fair cities of antiquity, 
whose nameless ruins encumber the plains of Europe and Asia, 
and awaken the fruitless inquiry of the traveller ? They have 
sunk into dust and silence — they have perished from remem- 
brance — for want of " a respectable name, 
Knickeebocker's History of New York, — amended. 



(62) 



EMPORIUM VERSUS NEW YORK. 

BY Q. E. D. 

TT7ITH head erect and stately stride, 
"in Broadway, on the western side, 
I marched, and viewed, in conscious pride, 
The splendors of New York. 

I saw, reflecting back the day, 
Palatial walls, in proud array, 
And vistas stretching far away, 
Of opulent New York. 

What gorgeous domes confront the sky. 
What proud hotels are soaring high. 
What windows lure the passers by, 

The strangers in New York ! 

(63) 



64 Emporium VERSUS New York, 



All gems are there in sparkling showers, 
All trophies of barbaric powers, 
And fabrics wrought for princely dowers, 
Are gathered in New York. 

And pilgrims press with eager feet, 
And curious eyes with wonders meet 
In Broadway^s world-surpassing street. 
The glory of New York. 

Tall ships are in from many a shore, 
And streets and shops are running o'er. 
And lumbering drays can hold no more 
The transport of New York. 

I tried in vain to cross the street, 
Where whirling wheels cut off retreat, 
And clattering tramp of horses' feet 

Announced the great New York. 



Emporium versus New York. 65 



I gazed upon the motley throng ; 
The ceaseless current surged along, 
And sinewy legs and elbows strong 

Went struggling through New York. 

Saxons and Celts, and Greeks and Jews, 
Creoles, Italians, and Hindoos, 
Germans and Franks, and Kickapoos, 
All crowded in New York. 

I looked ahead, and read the fates, 
I scanned the rise and fall of states, 
And saw the destiny that waits 

The future of New York. 

Not fifty years shall pass when she, 
Whose commerce floats on every sea. 
The world^s first banking-place shall be, 

Though then no more '' New York." 

5 



66 - Emporium v er s u s N e w York, 



Indignant voices shall proclaim, 
That she, the first in wealth and fame, 
No more shall wear the paltry name 
Of pitiful " New York." 

When old ^neas and his boy 

From the mast-head cried, " Rome, ahoy," 

They did not call the place New Troy, 

Like fools who named New York. 

When Moses led his wandering Jews 
To bathe their feet in Canaan's dews, 
They proved too wise to name and use 
New Egypt, like New York. 

New Amsterdam might fit the Dutch ; ; 
But when the English got their cluteh, 
Why need they coin another such, 

And dub the town "New York"? 



EMPORiuitf VERSUS New York. 67 



Well may those ancient dolts be blamed, 
Well may their offspring feel ashamed, 
That earth's first city should be named 
Contemptible " New York." 

Old York is just a middling place, 
With clowns and dukes, a motley race, 
And scarcely' worthy to disgrace 

; wd/A mere fag end " New York.'' 

Who would wear a livery j pray, 
Who a second Jiddle play, 
Who be second best alway. 

But self-despised '[ Mw York " ? 

I summon poets, one and all, 

Who help to spin this mundane ball. 

To rescue from degrading thrall 

The trodden-down New York. 



68 Emporium versus New York 



I call on patriots, fierce or tame, 
To wipe away this burning shame, 
And kick down hill, with one acclaim. 
Detestable " New York." 

Let all who feel the chain they drag, 
Let all who have a tongue to wag, 
Combine to raise a nobler flag, 

More glorious than " New York." 

Yast continents have changed their name ; 

Cities and ladies do the same, 

A part for pride and part for shame, 

Both which should move New York, 

New Holland is Australia now ; 
Toronto made one " York" to bow ; 
The late Miss Smith is Mrs. Howe : 

Why don't you change New York? 



Emporium versus New York. 69 



IVe travelled much, and somewhat sailed, 
In danger^s face have seldom quailed, 
But when they asked from whence I hailed, 
I did not say New York. 

I find great names where'er I roam — 
Paris, Vienna, London, Rome ; 
I loathe the paltry one at home, 
I execrate " New York." 

A generous name sounds well in verse, 
A bad one is a clinging curse ; 
I never heard nor dreamt a worse 

Than pestilent " New York.'' 

I ask a bold, descriptive name, 
Of classic birth and faultless claim, 
To grow amid the growing fame 

Of what was once New York. 



70 Emporium versus New York 



Emporium shall that title be, 
The empire mart of earth and sea, 
The central city of the free ; 

Emporium, — not o^ mw York* 

See Note, page 228. 



,jfL'.^i.J2.yj '.<: ", 



i.\t " 



Sir %. m. €, 



(71) 



Let us look around among the admirers of poetry; we 

shall find those who have a taste for the sublime to be very 

few ; but the profound strikes imiversally, and is adapted to 

every capacity. 

Martinus Scriblerus. 

(72) 



THE UXSEEN. 



BY K. W. E. 



AN the world's broad effulgence 
^ Man opens Ms eyes, 
The scene spreads before him 

Its fields and its skies. 
To earth and to heaven 

He pushes his glance, 
He bores the molecule. 

He probes the expanse. 

The universe looms up, 

An ocean of light, 

And worlds that are blazing 

Seem made for his sight. 

(73) 



74 The Unseen 



Let space and let darkness 
Eebuke his pretence — 

The seen is but little, 
The unseen immense. 

The vast orbs of heaven 

Seem rolling through air, 
But what they are made of, 

They fail to declare. 
Man gazes down earthward 

With scrutiny nice, 
But to see through a millstone 

Is past his device. 

Unseen, under ground, 
Living essences clash. 

The roots of the oak 

Meet the roots of the ash — 

The prize of their combat 
An atom of soil — 



The Unseen. 76 



They wrestle and struggle 
Till one takes the spoil. 

A bit of a snail shell 

Is dug from the sand ; 
'Tis the last of ten trillions 

That make up the land ; 
How lived, loved, and died they, 

What mortal shall say ? 
What joy or what anguish 

Gave zest to their day ? 

The lord of creation 

Walks over the soil ; 
He deems what he treads on 

Legitimate spoil : 
Let him hold the broad acres 

In strength of a name ; 
The mole and the earthworm 

Precede him in claim. 



76 The Unseen 



Bright gold in excess 

Underlies the deep sand ; 
It belongs to the man 

Who has purchased the land. 
He will die, and not know it, 

Still poor as a miser. 
With his hundredth descendant 

Nor richer nor wiser. 

There's an oyster in ocean, 

A pearl in his shell, 
A prince could not buy it, 

A Jew would not sell : 
The pearl and the oyster 

Unnoticed remain ; 
What the sea will not give up 

Man seeks for in vain. 

Eternal is motion, 
Eternal is rest ; 



The Unseen. 77 



Which started the foremost 
Will never be guessed. 

Was the universe one lump, 
What could it move by ? 

Or, resting at anchor, 
Say, where did it lie ? 

Unspeakable nature 

Our wonder may fill. 
But Chaos before was 

More wonderful still. 
I like this same Chaos, 

Which nobody knows ; 
I^d give more to see it 

Than most of your shows. 

Thrice wonderful Chaos ! 

Neglected too long, 
I call thee to order, 

I sive thee rnv sonof. 



The Unseen; 

Did silence chaotic 

Brood over thy rest, 
Or storms, more despotic, 

Convulse thy deep breast? 

Wast thou formed out of matter, 

Or measured from space ? 
Did a top and a bottom 

Thy outline deface ? 
Wast thou made up of atoms, 

When atoms were not ? 
Were those atoms attractive. 

Repulsive, or what ? 

Inscrutable Chaos, 

I gloat on thy name ; 
I dive thy abysses, 

And come up the same ; 
The depths of thy darkness 

Have uttered no sound ; 



The Unseen. 79 



Thy tongue, if thou hadst one, 
Creation has drowned. 

The appropriate study 

Of mankind is man, 
Yet his soul and his body 

Who ventures to scan ? 
To turn his eyes inward 

One must be a wizard, 
For no man can live 

And behold his own gizzard. 

Man revels in darkness, 

But withers in light : 
He lives, he don't know how, 

And thinks it all right : 
He declines when invited 

That others should view him ; 
His greatest aversion 

Is davliprht let throus^h him. 



80 The Unseen, 



His brain is a gulf 

Full of fancy and flame, 
Of world-stirring projects 

And thoughts without aim. 
Where lie the deep chambers 

In which his mind dances ? 
What cells microscopic 

Are filled with his fancies ? 

What gates let his thoughts out 

With lightning-like pace, 
When they burst in a sortie 

To regions of space ? 
On the icebergs of Neptune 

Unheeding they walk, 
On the hearthstones of Sirius 

They sit down and talk. 

They go off wool gathering 
No mortal knows where ; 



The Unseen. 81 



They are deep in earth's centre, 

Anon high in air ; 
Where his thoughts drag him onward 

The captive must go ; 
They lead him blindfolded 

To weal or to woe. 

Man's heart is a hell — 

Lord Bvron has said it : 
Yet farther inquiry 

Proves more to its credit : 
Like a pump in a shipwreck 

It labors to save ; 
Its strokes keep us floating 

From cradle to grave. 

Yet this heart is a problem, 

A paradox deep ; 
Unseen are its movements, 

Laimeasured its leap ; 
6 



82; The UxNSEen 



It bounds back to kindness, 

Eecoils back in hate. 
Exults with its passion, 

Or brea-ks with its fate. 

Mysterious heart, 

Of its fortune the play. 
Exchanged for another. 

And oft thrown away, 
Pierced through with sharp arrows, 

Cut into with knives. 
Unseen it still pulsates. 

Unwished it survives. 

The rain falleth downwards 

The ocean to meet ; 
The blood courseth roundwards 

Its fountain to greet ; 
Space, matter, and moonshine 

In eddies are whirled I 



The Unseen. 85 



Their circum2:Trations 
Give laTvs to the world. 

Peremptory nature 

Keeps all things in order ; 
Birds mount in the air, and 

Fish swim in the water ; 
The bright rhododendron 

Flames up to the sky, 
Appropriate pigweed 

Creeps under the sty. 

Eoll on, orbs of heayen ; 

We keep you in yiew : 
Your truth is unchanging, 

Your changes are true. 
Let man, struggling onward, 

His destiny gain ; 
When pain shall be pleasure, 

And pleasure be pain. 



Clje Spirit |l;tpers ta lljeiv gleitiinns, 



is I. i. f . 



(So) 



Glendower. 

I can call spirits from the vasty dee^. 

Hotspur. 

Why so can I, or so can any man ; 

But will they come when you do call for them ? 

Glendower. 

Why, I can teach you to command the devil. 

Hotspur. 

And I can teach thee, coz, to shame the devil 

By telling truth. 

Shakspeare, King Henry IV. 

(86) 



THE SPIRIT RAPPERS TO THEIR 
MEDIUMS. 

BY J. R. L. 

11 /TAY it please your respectable body elect, 

^ Who the rights of poor spirits vouchsafe to 

protect, 
The subscribers (subknockers) would knock up a 

prayer, 
Touching some of the evils they now have to bear. 

Your petitioners firstly announce, in their case. 
That they form both an old and a numerous race ; 
Having served, since the period when Adam had 

birth. 
To stock, and improve, and replenish the earth ; 
Representing, of course, in their forms evanescent, 
The past human species quite down to the present, 

(S7) 



88 The -Spirit Rappers 



Of all generations, and kindreds and tongues, 
That have walked upon legs or have talked out of 

lungs ; 
That have strutted their hour on this sublunar 

stage, 
And adorned each in turn his particular age. 
From the early companions of Cain and of Abel 
To their humbler descendants who laid bricks at 

Babel, 
With subsequent swarms of all nations and hues, 
Troglodytes, Greeks, Romans, Finns, Frenchmen, 

and Jews. 

Moreover, since death keeps at work without 

ceasing. 
Our number, 'tis plain, must be yearly increasing, 
(We take poet's license in which we were nursed, 
And exchange the third person, just here, for the 

first.) 



To THEIR Mediums. 89 



War, famine, and pestilence serve to recruit us, 
And battles and wrecks are our great coadjutors. 
The deluge, which drowned all the world except 

Noah, 
Reenforced us at once with a few millions more. 
We grew, when the Persians invaded old Greece, 
Or the Romans made deserts, and nicknamed it 

'' peace," 
And through the dark ages when men starved and 

fought. 
Spirits came to us faster than Malthus e'er thought. 



When the strifes of new Europe experience revivals 
We look out for shoals of more recent arrivals, 
From the thirty years' war and the campaign at 

Moscow, 
To the Crimean squabble, where quick man and 

horse go. 
If our numbers fall off in some peaceable times. 
They soon get renewed by disasters and crimes. 



90 The Spirit Eappers 



And we look to invasions and fights that sweep all 
away 

To help yellow fever, rum, earthquakes, and chol- 
era. 

And here we digress, for the purpose of showing 
(What you seldom do) certain secrets worth know- 

■^^& ? 

And will knock out, as one of our characteristics, 
A bit of a problem in spirit statistics. 

In the old world no one has the slightest mis- 
giving 

That the aggregate dead far outnumber the living ; 

Whereas in the new it is just the reverse. 

And the sexton is always in rear of the nurse ; 

And so much o'er the dead do the living prepon- 
derate. 

There are always more heads left aboveground 
than under it, 



To THEIR Mediums. 91 



Including the T\^hole that have died in the land 
Since the Pilgrims at Plymouth set foot on the 

strand. — 
Mathematics are hard to reduce into verse, 
But by aid of your patience the steps we'll rehearse. 
From reports of the census we think it appears 
That Americans double in twenty-five years, 
Whereas, 'tis allowed, on the best calculation, 
It takes thirty and more to make one generation. 
So, for each hundred debtors that pay nature's 

dues 
One hundred and twenty lay claim to their shoes. 
All hail, then, Columbia; thy numbers are heaping, 
And thy fast-moving sons go ahead while they're 

sleeping. 

But though here we poor spirits are kept a mi- 
nority, 

Yet in most other lands we've a handsome ma- 
jority ; 



92 The Spirit Rappers 



And if brought to the test of an actual Yoting 
We could poll the dead nations we just have been 

quoting, 
And bring black spirits and white, and blue spirits 

and gray, 
Against your know nothings and quids of the day. 

And now to return from our learned digression, 
We come to the point of our main intercession. 
We hold it a grievance no longer endurable, 
And one to remove which they tell us that youVe 

able, 
That the best men among us, the great and the 

good, 
Who in armies, and senates, and pulpits have stood, 
Commanders of hosts, benefactors of species, 
Must be whistled up hither, like hounds in their 

leashes. 
From their various abodes, both above and below, 
Where they take retribution in weal or in woe. 



To THEIR Mediums. 93 



And, like veriest dogs, be packed under the table, 
To show off small tricks and perform what they're 

able ; 
To inspire with poor jokes some hysterical miss, 
While she blabs revelations of that world or this ; 
To lug at huge tables and upset the floor, 
And knock on the same till their knuckles are sore : 
And because they can't speak, for the want of a 

throat, 
They must father all nonsense you see fit to quote. 

To show that our proofs in the case are most ample 
We need but to make a convincing example, 
Which we'll do, by your leave, without more prep- 
aration, 
And proceed to bring forward a '^ manifestation." — 
Having darkened the lights and cast out unbe- 
lievers. 
Let the guests be arranged in due form to re- 
ceive us. 



9t The Spirit Eappers 



Let their hands (not themselves be imposed on) 

the table, 
With looks of bereavement and garments of sable, 
Amid silence and gloom we proceed to begin, 
(Provided the fees for admission are in.) 

" Are the spirits arrived in their usual plenty ? " 
"We rap, and reply that we muster just twenty. 
" Is the patriarch Job among those who observe 

us?'' 
Rap, rap, rap. — " Ay, ay, sir — here's Job, at your 

service." 
^' Mr. Job, can you tell, what no history does, 
In what part of the world was the kingdom of Uz ? " 
Eap, rap. — '"Tis that part, as I've reason to 

know, 
Where the devil unchained walks the earth to and 

fro." 
(" A pretty unlimited country, methinks," 
Quoth a blade who had just been expelled for his 

winks.) " 



To THEIR Mediums. 95 



" Worthy Job, we have heard of your patience of 

yore, 
When your boils and your wife made your feel- 
ings quite sore ; 
As a man of much sorrow, of trials and grief. 
Tell us which of your ills you accounted the chief/^ 
Rap, rap. — '' I have borne with bereavements and 

sores, 
But of all sharp inflictions there's nothing like bores. 
My enemies plagued me to serve their base ends. 
But no one came forward to save me from friends. 
I endured it seven days, while they all held their 

peace. 
But 'twas too much to stand when their tongues 

got release. 
If you're seeking for comforters over the town. 
Choose those that are made of good wadding or 

down. 
A scrape with a potsherd will ease a rough hide, 
But a scrape of three friends beggars all scrapes 

beside." 



96 The Spirit Eappers 



" Will the great Julius Caesar descend from his 
sphere. 

And take a low seat with the table legs here ? ^' 

" With pleasure, — delighted, — to sit or to stand ; 

It is mine to obey as ^tis yours to command.'^ 

"Mr. Caesar, we think you were married quite 
young, 

And had several wives, of whom each had a tongue. 

Will you tell us distinctly, we ask it with defer- 
ence, 

To which of these ladies you now give the prefer- 
ence?'^ 

" Cornelia was fair and Calphurnia kind, 

But neither exactly turned out to my mind ; 

Pompeia pleased me the most, — but my patience 

Was oftentimes tried by her tricks and flirtations ; 

And at last, when she cut me one night in the hall, 

I thought it the cut most unkindest of all. 

(Shakspeare made - a mistake in applying - it to 
Brutus.) :-:.: .^ 

I was cut to the quick by her airs with her suitors. 



To THEIR Mediums. 97 



And so I divorced her, when proof was effected ; 
For the wife of great Csesar must not be suspected." 

" Great Caesar, we often have heard of your fame, 
As a conqueror of realms, and an author of name ; 
By a talent not common with most of your tribe. 
You were able at once both to fight and describe ; 
You once swam a creek that was boiling beneath. 
And carried your works safe across in your teeth ; 
Now tell us, since we, who, as authors come after, 
Have hard work to keep our poor heads above water, 
How the dense you contrived, when our chance is 

so slim. 
To keep up a good face, and to make your works 

swim.'' 
Rap, rap. — '^ Keeping all common hazards in view, 
I acted as most men of prudence would do. 
I knew by experience I'd had in a boat, 
That your heavy things sink, when your light ones 

will float. 
7 



98 The Spirit Eappers 



And, moreover, to guard against lawsuits and 

brawls, 
I had levied my pay in advance on the Gauls." 

"Mr. Cassar, we know that your talents were 
great, 

You wrote Commentaries, you upset the state. 

Be pleased to explain (though you think one a 
dunce) 

How you managed to dictate to six scribes at 
once." 

" In the matter of writing we Romans were slow, 

And with stiff Roman letters the lines would not 
flow. 

Our stationers kept neither pens, ink, nor wafers ; 

We possessed neither steno- nor yet phono-gra- 
phers. 

My clerks never moved with the pace of ethereals, 

But grumbled and growled at their writing mate- 
rials. 



To THEIR Mediums. 



One fellow maintained the papyrus was vile, 
Though I had it imported express from the Nile ; 
Another, who failed to get on with his facts, 
Had forgotten to cover his tablets with wax. 
And then, when I threatened to flog him the while. 
He laid all the blame to the villanous styleJ^ 

'' Is crooked-backed Richard contained in the 

throng ? '' 
Eap, rap. — '' Have the kindness to pass him along. 
King Richard the Third, take your place on the 

stand ; 
Look the court in the face, and hold up your right 

hand. 
Did you kill those two children one night in the 

Tower ? '' 
" I had those two babes a long time in my power. 
They, some how or other, contrived to get free, 
And I could not kill them, for Earl Richmond 

killed me. 



100 The Spirit Rappers 



How they got from confinement or wandered about 
You must ask your King Henry, who hunted them 

out. 
Perkin Warbeck. whose friends he so readily 

routed, 
"Was the true Duke of York, and no two ways 

about it ; 
And I, whom they paint as deformed as the devil. 
Was a fine, polished gentleman, handsome and civil. 
One shoulder was slightly the highest, it's true ; 
Yet I shouldered more blame than was fairly my 

due. 
And, in proof I was not quite so ugly as Hades, 
I appeal to my well-known success with the ladies,'' 

" Messrs. Ghosts, is there with you — allow us to 

ask — 
A mysterious man, with a thick Iron Mask, 
Of solemn demeanor, and stately and mute, 
And arrayed like a prince, from his head to his 

foot? 



To theirMediumb, 101 



Well, Sir Mask, the whole world has been burning 

to know 
Both your name and the cause why they muzzled 

you so.'' 
Eap, again. — "My live face they would not let 

appear ; 
And, therefore, excuse me, I shan't show it here. 
I always went masked on the slightest occasion ; 
And now to show off — sure my face must be 

brazen. 
I was locked up as snug as a miser's own pelf. 
If you ask who I was, faith, I don't know myself. 
I wrote all I knew on a small silver dish, 
Which I threw from my window to enlighten the 

fish. 
A fisherman carried it home, it is said ; 
The dolt could not read it, and that saved his head. 
My jailer kept dark, ay, and so kept his place: 
He ne'er showed his Hand, nor let me show. my 

face. 



102 The Spirit Rappers 



They call me Vermandois, and Beaufort, and 

others ; 
Some say the Great Louis and I were twin 

brothers. 
But be that as it may, it has ceased to be strange, 
That men should go masked in the streets and 

exchange. 
To be sure, they don't wear real masks of sheet 

iron, 
But they carry two faces, — to speak truth, — and 

lie on.'' 

*' Let the ghosts shudder back and make room in 

the rear : 
The accurst Torquemada is called to appear ; 
The Catholic lord of the dungeon and cell, 
Who converted fair Spain to a region of hell ; 
The Inquisitor stern, whose deep vengeance to 

slake 
Ten thousand live heretics died at the stake ; 



To THEiE Mediums. 103 



The confessor devout and approved license seller 

Of Ferdinand wise, and benign Isabella ; 

Who, to keep the queen's conscience in laudable 

way, 
Entertained her each month with an auto da fe. 
Come on Torquemada, you fiend of a man ; 
Knock, speak, and defend yourself now if you can." 
*' I think Inquisitions, so called, have gone by ; 
Yet you torture folks now as adroitly as I. 
There are two ways their bones and their sinews 

to crack ; 
You do it with railroads, as I with the rack. 
I burned them on piles to amuse my fair queen ; 
You flay them with boilers, and roast with cam- 

phene.^' 

'' Call in Robert Stephexson : witness, appear. 
You were king of the railroads, and first engineer ; 
You invented the engine that did all the mischief; 
Sir Robert, your hand in this vile business is chief.'' 



lOi T H E S P I R I T Pw A P P E S S 



" My clear sir, 'tis true that I made locomotives, 
But I did it, observe, from the kindest of motives. 
There were times when rash men at a gay horse's 

tail rode ; 
Now, there's no place so safe as a seat on a rail- 
road. 
Had the man who was drowned by upsetting a 

boat. 
And the traveller who died from a cut in his throat, 
And the luckless bricklayer who fell from a wall. 
And the soldier who stood in the way of a ball, 
And the woman run over in crossing the street. 
And the child that was burnt, and the wife that 

was beat, — 
Had these been all seated in snug Jersey train. 
They had all been alive, and I'd not lived in vain.'^ 

*' Is the ghost of John Gilpin arrived here.to- 

*' John Gilpin is coming — is come — and all right," 



To THEIR Mediums. 105 



*' Mr. Gilpin, we learn it turned out to your loss, 
That you ever ' bestrided ' the calender's horse. 
You commanded a train band and wore a long 

sword, 
And had had merry times on the wine that you 

stored. 
You have had some experience in riding at large ; 
Pray, what did you think of Lord Cardigan's 

charge ? '' 
*' Hem ! His lordship's a cavalry officer fine ; 
He commands well his horse, although I couldn't 

mine. 
It was lucky for both that our chargers went 

through, 
And retreated forthwith, pretty much malgre nous, 
A little such sport goes a great way with me ; 
When he charges again may I be there to see ; 
After which, competition between us must drop : 
He may charge in the field, but I'd charge in the 

shop." 



106 The Spirit Eappers 



" Stand forth, Wareex Hastings, impeaclied of 

the law 
At the grandest tribunal the world ever saw ; 
In whose trial eight years were expended in vain ; 
In less than eight minutes we'll try you again. 
The spoiler of cities and murderer of men, 
What defence have you now ? What excuse had 

you then ? " 
^' Old England, my country, I strove to obey ; 
My employers I served in the time-sanctioned way ; 
I saw them encumbered with wars and with debt, 
And though India was poor, there was money to 

get; 
I pursued the Rohillas with sword and with fire ; 
When I got forty lacs, my demands went no 

higher ; 
When my troublesome council were bent on a jar, 
To produce an effect I hung up Nuncomar ; 
To the chiefs of Benares and ladies of Oude, 
For a few millions more, mv behavior was rude. 



To THEIR Mediums. 107 



Let not England complain, nor my enemies foam ; 

The soil kept the blood, but the gold was sent 
home ; 

Yet for tribes I had exiled from desolate plains 

An impeachment was all I received for my pains. 

Old England, beware ! for the time is approaching, 

When, shorn of thy locks, thou shalt cease thy 
encroaching ; 

When thy men shall melt off into climates more free, 

And thy colonies spurn at dictation from thee ; 

When the sun of thy peerage in clouds shall have 
set, 

When the end is foreseen of thy church and thy 
debt, 

When thy prestige is down and thy glories es- 
tranged, 

The wrongs of poor India will then be avenged." 

Here^s a beau of a bishop — his hat in his hand. 
" Walk under the table, Monsieur Talleyrand. 



103 The Spirit Rappers 



YouH^e been dead now some years ; we should like 

your opinion 
On the recent events of your ancient dominion. 
In all the bouleversements youVe happened to 

meet, 
You contrived, like a cat, to come down on your 

feet. 
Pray, leave your dissemblings, and just tell us 

how 
You think in old Europe they'll manage things 



now." 



" Being anxious to leave my acquaintance in peace, 

I sealed up my papers before my decease ; 

They must rest thirty years, by the terms of my 

will, 
When the seals will be cracked, and the world 

learn their fill. . 
In the mean while, (observe that I mi^e no allu- 

-:?: : sions,)- : : ™5;rr \:' ::3li^B%r 

There U space for at least five or si^ reyolutions. 



To THEIR Mediums. 109 



At the end of which time, should a Bonaparte 

govern, 
My unfortunate papers may blaze in the oven. 
There are now two big emperors, who must have 

their sport ; 
Each fancying, doubtless, that war is his forte ; 
There is powder unburnt, both in guns and in kegs ; 
There is food for this powder still walking on legs. 
The czar brings half Asia from mountain and flat ; 
He will give three for one, and fatigue you at 

that ; 
His rival sends forward gay France to the fight. 
With dejected John Bull as a bob to his kite ; 
When the men, and the money, and powder are 

done. 
Perhaps they'll conclude it is troublesome fun ; 
When theyVe tried it enough, whether losing or 

-^ - winning, -: = :^ ;^ : .^«: i*.:. . 

All parties will quit — much the worse for be- 
cj'j- . ginning/' io i^-. jb ^^oi bobuS si ^lenT 



110 The Spirit Rappees 



*'Ricle forward, Don Quixote, thy lance in the 

rest ; 
Of all Rozinantes thy own was tlie best. 
Shall not history grant thee a dignified place ? 
Like Rollo and Rudolph, thou foundest a race.'^ 
*' I have founded a race whose illustrious line 
Shall survive after " broods more antique ^^ shall 

decline ; 
My exploits shall be copied in far distant times ; 
My descendants shall .grace the remotest of climes. 
Macedonia's madman, and Charles the wild Swede, 
Like myself, were inspired, and were Quixotes 

indeed. 
The emperor Charles, who invaded Algiers, 
And Charles the Pretender, had just my ideas ; 
So had Douglas the great, of the Chevy Chase 

story, 
And Douglas the less, who rode tilt at Missouri. 
Napoleon charged like a Quixote on Russia ; 
Murat tried his crown into Naples to usher ; 



To THEIR Mediums. Ill 



So Shays at old Springfield, and Burr on Ohio, 
With Lopez at Cuba, may make up a trio ; 
And if you demand a less tangible phantom, 
There's Ericcson's engine, and Paine's Jack o' Ian- 
thorn ; 
To such chivalrous knights, in my last dying 

stanza, 
I commend the grave counsels of sage Sancho 
Panza.'^ 

'' Ah! Bexedict Arnold, — must you, too, appear ? 
You dog of a traitor, how dare you come here ? 
Look round you and weep. See this prosperous soil, 
Which you once did your utmost to blast and to 

spoil." 
•' I'm a dog of a traitor, — in that we agree, — 
And some similar dogs have been heard of since 

me. 
You began your rebellion, not looking ahead. 
With harebrains like me for your hydra-like head. 



112 TflE Spirit Rafpehs 



You owe your salyation, as all the world knows, 
To the favor of luck and supineness of foes. 
Had Howe put through quick the concern he was 

sent on ; 
Had Washington failed on the morning of Tren- 
ton; 
Had Louis adhered to his favorite trade, 
And rat traps, not treaties, been all that he made ; 
Had Andre got off, with your fate in his boots, — 
Your grand revolution had gone by the roots. 
Be not hastily puffed with your honors and goods ; 
'Tis the true time to crow when you^re out of the 

woods. 
I see your far-famed constitution to shake. 
And the bonds of your Union are strained till 

they break. 
There are pupils of mine wide awake in the land, 
With the time-approved w^atchword, ' Divide and 
command,' " 



To THEIR Mediums. 113 



" All hail, noble Franklin ! the right hand that 

wrings 
The lightning from heaven, and the sceptre from 

kings, 
May well be invoked as a competent guide, 
To give us a view of the world's brighter side. 
We read your Poor Richard, we fancy youi* dress, 
We talk with your lightning, and print with your 

press ; 
'Tis a problem to solve not unworthy of you. 
What this wide western world may be destined 

to do." 
" You flatter Poor Richard to ask his advice. 
But the question is fair, and shall not be asked 

twice. 
I once had a project — 'twas all in my eye — 
To be bottled up tight, like a winter-killed fly, 
And then be thawed out at the end of a century, 
With leave to look round, and to take anin-ven- 

tory. 

8 



114 The Spirit Eappers 



Two thirds of that period have now passed away ; 
As you give me a chance, 111 have something to say. 
Having rested a moment to cool my surprise, 
Recovered my breathing, and rubbed up my eyes, 
It strikes me, (my terms are, perhaps, out of use,) 
That the world has run riot, and hell has broke 

loose. 
There is racing and chasing on east and on west, 
There is rushing and pushing, and all things but 

rest ; 
Men seem to be travelling on engines like flyers, 
Having sent off their notions ahead upon wires : 
No wonder they need some new methods to go it. 
Now you cut off their legs without letting them 

know it. 
Here^s a new yard of cloth, wove itself in a minute ; 
It used to take three days to weave or to spin it. 
Here are sewing machines, and machines for brick- 
making. 
For spinning and knitting, for brewing and baking. 



To THEIR Mediums. 115 



This new-fangled printing I hope to look into, 
But this painting by light is rank witchcraft 

akin to. 
Now you can't go to sleep in the old quiet way, 
Because gas lights are turning the night into day. 
We thought our spring ice melted off none too soon ; 
Now you swallow strange ices in August and June. 
I went for improyement, when firm on my legs ; 
But there's reason, you know, in the roasting of 

eggs ; 
And I cannot quite follow the creed you esteem. 
That the chief end of man is to keep up the steam. 
So I draw from the whole the conclusion it brings, 
There's a great deal too much of a great many 

things. 

" There are too many mills, both of cotton and 

woollen. 
There are too many stocks to entrap a green 

fool in. 



116 Tre Spieit Rappers 



You have too many railroads — if this you should 

doubt, 
Ask those that are in how they'd like to get out. 
You have too many ships, and youVe too many 

banks, 
And too many landsharks at work with their 

pranks. 
You have cities, on paper, beyond what are proper, 
And too many mines of gold, iron, and copper. 
You have too many silks — more than prudence 

requires ; 
Which, Poor Richard has told you, put out kitchen 

fires. 
You have far too much monev, and that makes the 

trouble ; 
Though your shirt may cost less, yet your dinner 

costs double. 
You obtain too much credit ; far he who goes bor- 
„ ..-rowing; : :; :: :_ o^ ^iiguoid a:i^ va:.- 
Poor Richard says also, will find he goes sorrowing. 



To THEIR Mediums. 117 



You have too many presses and type loads of trash, 
Which inundate the country with poor balderdash, 
And render it hard to decide in a verse 
Whether printing be most of a blessing or curse. 
You have too many stumps that uphold agitators, 
Reformers and rogues, politicians and traitors. 

*' Notwithstanding all this, I might say, if I saw fit, 
That your country is safe, or Poor Eichard^s no 

prophet. 
The machine is wound up in a firm constitution, 
And can go by itself, and not fear revolution. 
If property sinks in a chorus of groaners, 
There are few things so bad that they cannot find 

owners. 
If a debtor deceases perplexed in affairs. 
The estate gets untwisted by lawyers or heirs. 
If in prosperous times the good people run riot, 
They are brought to their senses by time and low 

diet. 



118 The Spirit Rappers 



If gold is abundant, then fools will make schemes, 
And no mines can keep pace with their castles and 

dreams ; 
And when they discover the gold is not theirs, 
Down tumble their castles and vanish their airs ; 
And lastly, with nothing their credit to prop, 
As the worst that befalls them, they pull up and 

stop. — 
The pestilent press has its death in its birth ; 
The world understand it at what it is worth, 
And rival defamers extinguish each other, 
As one poison's antidote lies in another j 
And as for the men who assemble in clumps, 
And, Witherington-like, shout and fight upon 

stumps, 
In the depths of a valley or top of a high hill, 
I consider them — vox et praeterea nihil. 
They who write and who stump are the froth and 

the foam ; 
The strength of the country is quiet at home. 



To THEIR Mediums. 119 



Commend me the man who just minds his own 
business, 

And keeps out of places of danger and dizziness. 

While the mob raises mushrooms and tumbles them 
down, 

His thrift and his products are always his own. 

You have fine institutions for blind and for lame ; 

Asylums for paupers, retreats for insane ; 

The thing you most want, in your present condi- 
tions, 

Is an ample retreat for distressed politicians. 

I think a good treadmill the best kind of charity, 

Where the ups and the downs are not wholly a 
rarity. 

The conservative class mind their own private 
cares, 

And scarce know who dances at head of afi'airs. 

An election comes round, and two platforms are 
made. 

Differing each from the other the split of a shade ; 



120 The Spirit Rappers 



The trifling distinction held out for your viewing 
Is, that one is salvation, the other rank ruin. — 
The race course is opened ; the betters take sides, 
As they happen to fancy the jockey that rides ; 
When the stakes are decided, the losers and win- 
ners 
Walk quietly home and look out for their dinners. 
The peace is not broken for this time, (I guess so,) 
For each man is a magistrate, (Lamartine says so,) 
With a stake to be lost by a reign of disorder ; 
So he gives a sure voice to support law and 

order. 
A mutual dependence keeps all things at rest 
With the North and the South, and the East and 

the West : 
There is only one reason why discord should swell ; 
Politicians must feed, and newspapers must sell : 
But though speeches are hot and though columns 

are spicy, 
The intractable public keeps quiet and icy: — 



To THEIR Mediums. 121 



You have nothing to fear as to bloodshed and strife 
In a land where each man owns a hut and a wife*" 

The spirits are gone, and the room is now clear ; 

There is nothing remaining to see or to hear ; 

The company now may take hats and go home — 

Stop — hark — there's a snoring going on in the 
room* 

It is old Rip Van Winkle^ as usual, caught nap- 
ping ■ 

They left him behind, for they thought him past 
rapping. 

Hush — softly — ^^keep dark — and on tiptoe ad- 
vance ; 

They say that he manifests best in a trance. 

'' I am looking, in dreams, on the people about us ; 

There are some who believe, there are others who 
jflo-ut us; -'-^ ^^- 

But I have it revealed, on substantial authority, 

The believers- are likely to get the majcirily ; ~ 






122 The Spirit Eappers 



And if drilled as a party, in most of the states. 

They will sweep next election, in spite of the fates. 

IWe the strongest reluctance my snoozing to break 
up; 

Yet if public good calls, why, Yan Winkle must 
wake up. 

If you think my appearance would prove influ- 
ential, 

You may enter my name for the race presidential. 

I never belonged to a parliament rump ; 

I'm too hoarse for a speech, and too old for the 
stump ; 

But, methinks, there is ground for a public appeal, 

For what you can't prove, why, the ghosts can 
reveal. 

YouVe had president bullies and presidents free, 

But you'll never get one half so quiet as me. 

Your strength as a party shall wax manifold, 

When the spirits shall vote, and the dead heads be 
polled ; 



To THEIR Mediums. 123 



When judges in courts shall acknowledge our 

j&tness, 
And a rapper be held as a competent witness, 
And long-eared believers shall sit upon juries, 
And rogues shall be hanged on the strength of 

ghosts' stories. 
And when things are composed by the force of 

good orders, 
We will all go to sleep, and have peace in our 

borders. 
Good night, — I have done, — and you tease me in 

yain ; 
* You have waked me too soon — I must slumber 



again.' '' 



®^e Cimkrg Pakri 



is ®. 1. i. 



(12o) 



First China's sons, with early art elate, 
Formed the gay teapot and the pictured plate, 
Saw, with illumined brow and dazzled eyes, 
In the red stove ^itrescent colors rise, 
•Speck her tall beakers with enamelled stai's, 
Her monster josses and gigantic jars. 
Smeared her huge dragons ^vith metalHc hues, 
With golden pm-ples and cobaltic blues. 
Bade on wide hills her porcelain castles glare. 
And glazed pagodas tremble in the aii'. 

Darwin. 

(126) 



THE CROCKERY MAKERS. 



BY T. B. R. 



T ET the fly wheel steam it round 
-^ Till the clay to pulp be ground ; 
Let no hand knock off from labor 
Till every man has beat his neighbor. 

''' What the temple we would build ^^ 

To be with crockery vessels filled ? 

Give it no bad names for malice — 

Is it prison — is it palace ? 

Is it tower for lord and vassal ? 

Is it an enchanted castle ? — 

It seems fit place our wares to shove in ; 

Faith, its nothing but an oven. 

(127) 



128 The Crockeky Makers. 



Now the fire above has got, 
Now the saggers grow red hot, 
Shining with infernal glory, 
Miniatures of purgatory. 

Fairest forms are there in prison, 
Doomed to bake before theyVe risen, 
Cups and saucers, plates and dishes, 
Heads of dogs and tails of fishes, 
Beauteous nymphs in bas reliefs. 
Heroes bold and Indian chiefs, 
Burning to chastise their clay, 
Burning, burning, night and day. 

Stop, they Ve now burned up the fuel ; 
Longer burning would be cruel — 
Only makes them hard and stout : 
Cool them down and take them out ; 
Place them on the retail shelf ; 
Pick and choose, and suit yourself. 



The CeockePvY Makers. 129 



Lo, a splendid table rising, 
Made upon the extension plan, 

Legs carved out with art surprising. 
Polished leaves of broadest span ; — 

Damask cloths, of milky whiteness. 
Covering bars that bars receive. 

Frames of ash, whose bolt-uprightness 
Stands unmoved though spirits heave. 

Now, like orient sun arising. 
Flames the dinner service bright, 

Meet excuse for gormandizing. 
Reason strong for appetite ; — 

Deep tureen of gold and crimson 
Flashing back the gas light rays, 

Dish that pigs might stretch their limbs on, 
Barbecued in western ways. 
9 



130 The Ceockery Makees. 



There shall sit the guests and diners, 
Ladies fair assigned to beaux ; 

There shall soak the ancient winers ; 
There the worn-out ^Yits shall prose. 

Repartees shall there be bandied, 
Formal laughs at would-be jokes, 

Laws and times to be amended. 
Covert gibes at absent folks. 

Latest news discussed and sifted, 

Public measures weighed and scanned, 

Long harangues from parties gifted, 
Audience from the meek and bland. 

Soups of white, and soups of brovai, 
Turtle, ham, and game, and mutton. 

Enough to save a starving town, 

Enough to glut a moderate glutton ; — 



The Crocpiery Makers. 131 



Turkeys ready stuffed for stuffing, 
Foie gras pates from the shelves, 

Vol au vents that need no puffing, 
Omelettes nice, that puff themselves. 

Such fine dishes shall not linger ; 

Vain the attempt to eat them all. 
Lo, behold ! — a fiery finger 

Flames along the parlor wall. 

'' Gout and palsy are your waiters, 

Colic and dyspepsia too ; 
Lo, the devil stands and caters 

Wines and meats for dupes like you.^' 

XL 

Let the fly wheel steam it round 
Till the clay to pulp be ground ; 
Let no hand knock off from labor 
Till everv man has beat his neisrhbor. 



132 The Crockery Makers. 



Hark ! what means this clink and clattering ? 
Whence proceeds this noise of chattering ? 
Worse than magpies in the fable — 
Lo, the tea is on the table ! 

Summoned here by special favor, 
Aged dames and damsels young 

Take their sip from cups of Sevres, 

Quickening draught for dormant tongue. 

Maiden blue and sage duenna 
Ope their hearts in coimcil free. 

Pope has said that great Queen Anna 
Counsel took, and then took tea. 

Cups and saucers shift and rattle ; 

High the fragrant steam ascends ; 
Louder grows the mingling tattle ; 

Less the chance for absent friends. 



The Crockery Makers. 133 



Reputations shake and tremble 
As the steaming mass gets strong ; 

Sips of scandal quite resemble 
Sips of Hyson or Oolong. 

Mould the teacup brief and brittle, 
Strongest engine of the town ; 

Reputation's worth but little — 
Tea and tongues can bring it down. 



%Q €tnh 



m i. f . 



(135) 



Haste thee, nymph, and bring with thee 
Jest and youthful jollity, 
Quips and cranks, and wanton wiles, 
Nods and becks, and wreathed smiles 
Such as hang on Hebe's cheek, 
And love to Kve in dimple sleek. 
Come, and trip it as you go 
On the light fantastic toe. 

MiLTOX, L'Allegro. 

(136) 



TO CERITO. 



BY G. L, 



T17HENCE comest thou, beautiful CeritOj 

^ ' Poised in air like a mosquito, 
Bounding up with sudden spring, 
Settling down with folded wing, 
Hanging o'er thy pivot toe. 
Whirling to and spinning fro. 
How thy arms, with wreathing grace, 
Circle thy bewitching face. 
Tossing hands like water jets, 
With waving flowers or castanets ! 
Round in rapid circles go, 
Wliirling heel and mincing toe, 

(137) 



188 To CeRito 



Swifter, faster, without stop, 
Whizzing like a humming top. 
Till baffled dress deserts thy form, 
And soars like gossamer in the storm, 
While plaudits burst in full tornado. 
And bravos ring at thy bravado. 

Now thy light and fairy science, 
Settino' 2;raTitY at defiance, 
Hangs thee up in middle air. 
As if suspended by a hair. 
Swinging, quivering, flying, flitting. 
Solid earth but seldom hitting^ 
Till at length, from seraph flight. 
On the boards thou deign'st to light. 
Bowing to the audience low, 
Stretching back thy hinder toe, 
Floating at rest like alligator, 
Or some bird of sailing nature. 
Lifting thy large and lustrous eyes, 
Just while the ra-vished audience dies. 



To Cerito. 139 



Then sinking in the green room breathless, 
To feel thyself half dead — though deathless. 

In what sort of coromon metre 
Shall we sing thee, glorious creature ? 
Thou art like a rivulet gay. 
Sending wide its joyous spray ; 
Like a tuft of thistle down 
Swept in air from pastures brown ; 
Like the dust in summer curling, 
When the zephyr sets it whirling ; 
Like the lark that mounts on high 
Pirouetting through the sky ; 
Like the swallow's rapid motion, 
Skimming over land and ocean ; 
Like a squirrel, caged in wire, 
Spinning to his heart's desire ; 
Like the buzzing of the fly 
Trapped and caught by spider sly ; 
Like the sighs which fall on flowers 
Prom lovers' hearts in moonlit bowers ; 



140 To Cerito. 



Like a joy that leaves us glad ; 
Like a pain that makes us mad. 
So thy swift and fairy motion 
Fills us with sublime emotion. 

Then dance on, most fair Cerito ; 
All thy charms we bow the knee to. 
Hearts are shaking on thy foot 
Of all these worshippers so mute. 
Pursue thine airy football play, 
But kick — 0, kick not hearts away, 



Song of t|e ^ktlismitljs. 



itt 1. i. m. 



(141) 



Ac veluti lentis Cyclopes falmina massis 
Cum properant, alii taurinis follibus auras 
Accipiunt redduntque, alii stridentia tingunt 
-^ra lacu ; gemit imj^ositis incudibus ^tna. 
Illi inter sese magna vi brachia tollunt, 
In numerum, versantque tenaci forcipe ferrum. 
VntGiL, Georgicon, lib. iv. 

(142) 



SONG OF THE BLACKSmTHS. 

BY J. G. W. 

rriHE flame is kindling on the forge, 
-*- The coal is blazing higher, 
The heaving bellows sink and surge, 

And snaps the crackling fire. 
Eise up, ye merry blacksmiths all. 

Exulting in your lot. 
And, waiting for no second call, 

Strike while the iron's hot. 

The sweat, that down your dusky face 
Descends like drops of rain, 

Shall only leave its lines of grace 
In somewhat paler stain. 

(143) 



144 Song of the Blacksmiths 



The stoker in liis gloomiest pliglit, 
With cheek of Afric hue, 

Shall think himself an angel white, 
Whene'er he looks at you. 

Gird on your leathern aprons fastj 

Your sleeves to elbows roll. 
And blow your deep, infernal blast, 

And conflagrate your coal. 
The iron bars, whose ends retreat, 

Like foes in hostile lands, 
Shall soften at the welding heat, 

And join fraternal hands. 

Your sinewy arms their hammers raise 

To stamp you good and great ; 
Each man, as Sallust somewhere says, 
. ,, , Is blacksmith to his fate ; -^^ 
Brave hands have shaped the axe^s edge 
And tempered sabres keen ^ 



Song of the Blacksmiths. 145 



Renowned old Vulcan swung the sledge, 
And so did General Greene. 

For you in deep Acadian mines 

The sunless collier toiis, 
And earns the bread for which he pines, 

While you receive the spoils. 
A hundred schooners coastwise bound, 

And sloops as many more, 
For you discharge and cast around 

Their black Cocytian store. 

For you, in dark and pathless woods. 

The charcoal burner wakes, 
And piles his unconsuming goods 

Above the fire he makes ; 
A mound of suffocating earth 

Keeps down the smouldering flame, 
Till coals, extinguished in their birth, 

Wait your unquestioned claim. 
10 



146 Song of the Blacksmiths, 



Mark, how with pyrotechnic glare 

The iron flashes out, 
And radiant sparks, too bright to bear, 

Are lightening round about ; 
And in these philanthropic lands. 

Where none may slavery urge, 
Unchecked and unrelenting hands 

'' The groaning anvil scourge." 

The iron rod, that cools or warms, 

Is servant to your will, 
And horseshoes take crescentic forms 

From your artistic skill. 
To give you their commending proof 

They seek their various place ; 
Bucephalus wore them on his hoof, 

Red^auntlet on his face. ; 

The sailor, in Hsdesperate.homvj. 
Shall hold his horseshoe fast. 



Song of the Blacksmiths. 147 



And strong in witch-defying power, 

Shall nail it to the mast. 
The haggard witch, who lurks around 

With evil-omened glare, 
Will have to turn her broomstick round, 

And vanish through the air. 

When despots kept mankind in thrall, 

You served their iron will, 
And bolts and grates of prison walls 

Bore witness to your skill : 
But now your far more grateful trade 

Shall loose the captive's chain ; 
The hands that first the fetters made 

Can saw them best in twain. 

In feudal times by blacksmiths' hands 
The warrior's lance was steeled. 
And helmed heads of hostile iDands 
: : Went thundering tlirough the field. 



148 Song of the Blacksmiths 



But now the sword's too trenchant blade 

The ploughshare's form shall take, 
And pruning hooks shall trees invade, 
And gridirons, once for martyrs made, 
Shall only broil beefsteak. 

Then let the flame surmount the forge, 

And let the coal blaze higher, 
And let the bellows sink and surge, 

And snap the crackling fire j 
And let the merry blacksmiths rise, 

Contented with their lot. 
And seizing on the proffered prize, 

Strike while the iron's hot. 



%\t ^0et k % €mt 



Iff 1. f . 



(149) 



"When, at last, we began to move up, he could scarcely 
avoid turning round, to cast one afFectionate look towards Chris- 
tendom ; but quickly again he marched on, with the steps of a 
man ; not frightened, exactly, but sternly prepared for death, 
or the Koran, or even for plural wives. 

EOTHEN. 
(150) 



THE POET IN THE EAST. 

BY B. T. 

rpHE Poet came to the land of the East 
-*• With a disappointed air ; 
He thought Earth needed a wedding feast, 

She looked so thin and bare. 
And the poet knew the land of the East, 

Though he never had been there. 

All things to him were visible forms 
Of things not dreamed before ; 

Familiar visions of sights unknown 
On the far-off western shore. 

As they glanced in the gold of clouds unrolled, 
They served to surprise him more. 

(151) 



152 The Poet in the East. 



He looked above in the cloudless calm 

At the sun he had seen of old, 
While the breath of gardens, like sage and balm, 

About his nostrils rolled ; 
And he met his brother, the princely Palm, 

And gave him the shoulder cold. 

His feet went forth on the myrtled hills, 

But the flowers were strange and mute ; 

The meads of milk-white asphodels 
Disliked his trampling foot ; 

And the scarlet poppies so fiery seemed 

He thought they would scorch his boot. 

And half in shade and half in sun 

The Peach sat on her tree ; 
"With a passionate thrill in her stony heart 

She was waiting her lord to see j 
When a kiss and a bite at her crimson cheek 

Showed the Poet was making free. 



The Poet in the East. 153 



The Nightingale, who sat above, 

In the boughs that were hanging o^er. 

Sang, " We are no rivals, brother mine ; 
So don't be jealous more : 

The fruit that you bit with so fresh a gout 
Had been bitten by me before." 

And further spake the Nightingale : 

*' Before you hangs a prize ; 
I heard the sound of a Persian lute. 

And a love-sick ditty rise, 
And like two stars, through the lattice bars, 
I saw a sultana's eyes." 

And the Poet said, " 111 here abide, 

If I sit outside the door. 
To catch a glimpse of those brilliant eyes, 

And hear that music pour. 
Though a sack should threaten our dawning loves, 

And a bowstring be in store." 



154 The Poet in the East 



All hail to this Oriental clime, 

Where true love needs no masking ; 

"Where flowers in the sun, and lutes in the moon, 
Respectively lie basking ; 

And Nightingales tell you, in Arabic, 
Where sultanas are found by asking. 



Note. — The publishing committee are of opinion that their 
friend, the Poet in the East, has not done himself justice on the 
present occasion. Had he favored the public with an apostrophe to 
the Nile, to Mount Tmolus, or to Patience, there is little doubt that 
they would assign him a place in the front rank of American poets. 



m^ d % BitMtx. 



% 1. ©. ^. 



(155) 



Voyager est, quoi qu'on piiisse dire, un des plus tristes 

plaisirs de la vie. 

Mad. de Stael, Corinne. 

(156) 



SONG OF THE STEAMER. 

BY J. G. S. 

"nUSHINO through the ocean, 
•^^ EoUing in the breeze, 
Eiding over billows, 

Pitching into seas. 
Shaking with the engine, 

Screaming with the blast, 
Mighty pleasant mode of 

Going rather fast. 

Staggering on deck be- 
cause you cannot stand. 

Holding on the railing 
With a shaky hand, 



(157) 



158 Song of the Steamer 



Now the floor is settling 
Underneath your feet, 

Now it heaves you up like 
Tossing in a sheet. 

Sailors looking red and 

Ladies looking pale, 
Captain comes along, and 

Says it's quite a gale ; 
Passengers inquire how 

Long it's like to last ; 
Captain shakes his head — " It's 

Rising very fast.'' 

Gentleman in motion. 
Looking quite distressed. 

Says he'd give his house for 
Half an hour's rest. 

Fidgety old lady 

Wonders he could sup, 



Song of the Steamer. 159 



Has a poor opinion 
Of his bringing up. 

Invalid complaining, 
Not the slightest doubt 

Another fit of straining- 
Will turn him inside out ; 

Lady on the sofa, 
Lying dead almost, 

Nothing more to give up. 
Unless it be the ghost. 

Gentleman in upper berth 

Little sleep enjoys, 
Gentleman beneath is 

Making such a noise ; 
Gentleman in lower berth 

Timid sort of chap, 
Traid to put his head out, 

Fear of some mishap. 



160 Song of the Steamer. 



Dinner bell is ringing, 

Dishes under cover, 
Glasses pitcWng round, and 

Gravy pitching over ; 
Half the chairs are empty, 

Folks are out of joint, 
Could not bring their minds up 

To the sticking point. 

Villanous beef eaters. 

Been to sea before, 
Eat five meals a day, 'cause 

Not content with four — 
Soup, and fish, and turkeys. 

Ham and cheese for lunch. 
Mutton, pork, and oysters. 

Ale and whiskey punch. 

Miserable sick ones. 
Looking on in wonder, 



S N G O F T H E S T E A M E R . 161 



Question how they do it, 
In the name of thunder : 

Gormandizing rascals 
Say it's all a sham ; 

Eecommend, to cure them, 
Pork, and tripe, and ham. 

Weather getting smoother, 

Stomachs getting quiet, 
Passengers, more tranquil. 

Try a little diet ; 
Many come to life whose 

Company was missed ; 
'Stead of playing 'possum. 

Now they're playing whist, 

Tea in requisition, 

Gossip gets about ; 
Some are growing curious, 

Finding others out ; 
11 



162 Song of the Steamer. 



Wonder where they came from ; 

Wonder what they^re doing ; 
Wonder what their names are ; 

Wonder where they're going. 

Legislative member 

Puts an end to doubt ; 
Colonel in disguise be- 

Gins to let it out : 
Both are going to London ; 

Nothing shall prevent them ; 
Mean to see the minister ; 

Think he must present them. 

Cunning-visaged Yankee 
Looking sharp and slim, 

Says he guesses folks won't 
Come it over him ; 

Means to shave his dinners ; 
Prudent like a monk, 



SoxG OF THE Steamer, IBS 



Got a pound of candles 
Locked up in his trunk. 

Swaggering western rowdy 

Will do as he sees fit ; 
Means to go to Fenton's ; 

Means to smoke and spit ; 
Keeps a pair of pistols, 

Wears a bowie knife ; 
Never took an insult, 

Never in his life. 

Sturdy looking lender 

Claps him on the back, 
^' Pay your borrowed money ; 

Give us less of clack." 
Aggravated rowdy 

Bullies more and more. 
Captain says, " Well fix him 

When we get ashore." 



164 Song of the Steamer. 



Man lias got a gimcrack 

Patented anew ; 
Going abroad to sell it ; 

Offers it to you ; 
Speaks of wooden nutmegs, 

Very fine device, 
Much more economical 

Than any other spice. 

Greenhorn going to London 

To see the Coliseum ; 
Heard of gladiators. 

Wishes much to see 'em ; 
Uncle went to Florence ; 

Now, on his return, 
Thinks the Pitti Palace 

A pitiful cancern. 



Gentleman of business, ' 
Dealing in hardware, 



Song of the Steamer. 165 



Going straight to Sheffield 
To see how prices are. 

Lady and her daughter, 
Travelling express, 

Mean to take a courier, 
Cost it more or less. 

Dandy must assort with 

Gentlemen of rank ; 
Learns the best hotel is 

Summit of Mont Blanc ; 
Nobody resides there 

But the highest class. 
Acquiescent company 

Write him down an ass. 

Lady, getting nervous. 

Sees a ship in sight, 
Hopes they will not run us down 

Sudden in the night ; 



166 Song of the Steamer 



Gentleman resolving, 

If he gets to shore, 
He'll spend his life on t'other side, 

And never steam it more. 

Rushing through the ocean, 

EoUing in the breeze, 
Heaving over billows. 

Pitching into seas. 
Shaking with the engine. 

Screaming with the blast. 
Comfortable thing to 

Be arrived at last. 



^arkra %l\m. 



ig i. |. m 



(167) 



In Scarlet towne, where I was borne, 
There was a fair maid dwellin', 

Made every youth crye, " Wel-awaye ! " 
Her name was Barbara Allen. 

All in the merrye month of Maye, 
"When greene buds they were sw^ellin', 

Young Jemmye Grove on his death bed lay, 
For love of Barbara Allen. 

Old Ballad. 

(168) 



BARBARA ALLEN. 



BY N. P. W. 



rjlHERE was a lady fair of seventeen ; 

■*■ There was a youth, perhaps a few years older ; 

The story of their loves is strange, I ween, 

And shows that love should not be left to 
smoulder ; 
For smothered love, eternal though unseen. 

Is apt to blaze instead of getting colder ; 
Even though its early hope may have been 

blighted, 
Being all on one side, therefore unrequited. 



(169) 



170 Barbara Allen, 



II. 

In ^' Scarlet towne '' our lady heroine dwelt.— 
Where Scarlet was beseems me not to say ; 

Its mystic name few Gazetteers have spelt, 
And antiquarians find themselves at bay. 

Some think its place was in the Torrid belt, 
Some in the Moon, and some in Hudson's Bay ; 

And others, entering on the same arena, 

Prove ^twas the ancient Roman Scarlatina. 



III. 

The lady is already known to song, 
And Barbara Allen was her name, they say ; 

Whetlier she dropped it soon, or kept it long. 
Depended simply on her ay or nay ; 

For history states, her suitors, quite a throng. 
Employed their time in crying, ^' Well away ! '^ 

And many a proffered heart and hand was there, 

For which the obdurate Barbara did not care. 



Barbara Allen. 171 



IV. 

Among the rest young Jemmy Grove was sighing, 
(A name derived from sylvan scenery round.) 

From childhood up the young man had been trying 
To make impression on the flinty ground 

Of her hard heart. Twas vain to think of buying 
With love or money one so iron bound ; 

For Barbara was a cold and careless creature, 

And made worse work with hearts than I with metre, 

V. 

In early youth they both had run together 

" About the braes," and found it pleasant sport, 

And lookers on were heard to wonder whether 
In future years they might not well consort ; 

For all seemed smooth in childhood's sunny weather, 
And marked attentions came and went as nought. 

They liked each other with a childish preference, 

Which to true love has very little reference. 



172 Barbara Allen 



VI, 

But Jemmy, being of the two the older, — 
A fact our history has already stated, — 

Perhaps sometimes might feel a little bolder, 
And think his birth should have been antedated ; 

For what he felt when seated at her shoulder, 
If called true love, would not be overrated. 

As to her views he did not stop to reason. 

But lived and loved, and had his little season. 



VII. 

At length Miss Barbara was sent off to school. 
To learn accomplishments and practise graces, — 

To sing, to dance, to walk, to look, by rule ; 
To speak new languages and wear new faces ; 

To spend long hours upon a music stool ; 

To grow a judge of jewels, books, and laces ; 

In short, to stifle youth's emotions early, 

To drop the natural, and assume the worldly. 



Barbara Allen, 173 



VIII. 

Young Jemmy Grove, devoted to the ploiigli, 
Pursued, meanwhile, his rustic occupation, 

Not once imagining nor dreaming how 

A change was taking place in their relation. 

He did not know that many a broken vow 
Has grown from smaller difference of station. 

He only wished he had a house to dwell in, 

And half that house should be for Barbara Allen, 



IX. 

One morning, as he paused to rest his team, 
And stood reflecting over his plough handle, 

He fell into a sort of musing dream, 

That life spent all in ploughing was a scandal. 

He tried to hit upon some better scheme. 

He thought of Plutus' mine and Hymen's candle. 

Bright plans for future bliss were stealing o'er him, 

When, all at once, a vision rose before him. 



174 Barbara Allen. 



For, as he looked across the neighboring fence, 
That stood between his cornfield and the road, 

A lady's image struck his visual sense, 
Dropped from the sky, a Yenus a la mode. 

Her face was dazzling, though her curls were dense. 
Her mien erect and stately as she strode, 

And when she turned her eyes to look beside her, 

Poor Jemmy only opened his the wider. 



XI 



And when she moved, with step as firm as airy, 
She looked a goddess, while she walked a queen ; 

And when she smiled, bewitching as a fairy, 
Her sparkling eye illumined all the scene. 

The coiffing of her neck, a little chary. 
Served to give piquancy to what was seen. 

So, between sparkling eyes and snowy skin. 

Poor Jemmy was dumbfoundered, and caved in. 



Barbara Allen. 175 



XII. 

" Good morning, Mr. Grove," the stranger said ; 

" Good morning, madam,'' was the brief reply ; 
During which dialogue he hung his head, 

And hardly seemed to know the reason why. 
Her manner was more prompt, and better bred, 

While his was awkward, hesitant, and shy. 
Some slight misgiving seemed to cross his breast, 
Of who the stranger was whom he addressed. 

XIII. 

But then, so altered were her form and mien. 
So lady-like in all she did and said. 

Her stature tall, quite different from thirteen, 
With such a true patrician toss of head, — 

She could not be the same, his childhood's queen. 
He felt an awkward and impulsive dread. 

The double contrast almost made him bellow ; 

He thouo'ht himself a mean and shabbv fellow. 



A 



176 Bakbara Allen 



XIV. 

*' This exercise/^ she said, " improves the cheek " — 
He drew his sleeve across it, and was mute. 

'' In ploughing time one^s costume's not so sleek " — 
He wished she'd seen him in his Sunday suit. 

'' The plough's a useful instrument, so to speak " — 
He wished his own was ten leagues under foot. 

He thought 'twas plain she could be only quizzing ; 

The mere suspicion set his ears to whizzing. 

XV. 

" Have you forgotten Barbara/' said the lady, — 
Her voice affecting somewhat of the tender, — 

" When in these very pastures, cool and shady, 
You gathered dandelion flowers to lend her ? " 

The chord was touched ; but little more delayed he, 
For she had roused him like a witch of Endor. 

He bounded forward for an instant smack — 

Eecoiled — stretched out his hand — then drew it 
back. 



Barbara Allen. 177 



XVI. 

For she had checked him with a look severe, 
Which seemed to say, " Hands off, you vulgar 
clown ! ^' 

And while his eye was moistened with a tear, 
Her own was darkened with an angry frown. 

He wished himself well stretched upon his bier. 
So heavily this unkind cut came down ; 

And when his revery was fairly banished. 

He found the source of love and grief had vanished. 

XVII. 

A great deal may be done in little time ; 

A man may throw the dice and lose his fortune ; 
Or put a pistol bullet through his head, 

To prove this life (what no one doubts) a short one; 
Or fall in love, when little has been said ; 

Or break his mistress^ heart, if he has caught one ; 

So Jemmy Grove, in less than half an hour. 

Was a gone case, beyond redemption's power. 
12 



178 Barbae A Allen. 



XVIII. 



He hied him home, and straightway went to bed, 
And put all things in order for a session, 

Refused his dinner, and tied up his head, 

Complained of shivering, heartache, and oppres- 
sion. 

^Twould not be long before he should be dead ; 
Such was his first, and now his last impression ; 

He once had entertained some hopes to move her, 

But now the case was clear, and all was over. 

XIX. 

When Barbara Allen heard how things were going, 
She called and left her card upon his mother ; 

She would not venture in ; the wind was blowing, 
And of all things she most disliked a pother. 

'Twould not be proper in a lady going 
To call upon a man, unless her brother ; 

If he must die, 'twas so much more the pity. 

But deaths were common now in every city. 



Barbara Allen. 179 



XX. 

So then '' he turned his face unto the wall," 
Refused all nourishment, and fell to weeping ; 

He hoped he soon might be released from thrall ; 
He felt his latter end was o'er him creeping ; 

"Twas some small comfort that she'd know it all. 
When his poor bones beneath the sod were 
sleeping ; 

And so he died in true old lover fashion, 

The victim of an unrequited passion, 

V XXI, 

When Barbara heard the final, fatal news, 
She turned a little pale, and then she sighed, 

And, bending down her head, began to muse, 
Then took her cambric handkerchief, and cried. 

'Twas hard a constant youth so ill to use ; 
She almost wished that she herself had died. 

Then came the vision back of old alliance. 

When youthful Jemmy brought the dandelions. 



180 Barbara Allen. 



XXII. 

Disastrous love is quite a bad complaint, 
And sometimes fatal, as the poets say ; 

At any rate, it brings a feeling faint, 
And may grow worse at almost any day. 

To stand against it one must be a saint. 
Or hardened sinner in that sort of play ; 

For troubled love creates a great confusion, 

Extremely trying to the constitution. 

XXIII. 

But Barbara now was singularly placed, 
A case of love and conscience complicated, 

Of which the memory could not be effaced. 
Nor the enormity be well abated : 

To die just so might not be in good taste ; 
But then it seemed as if the thing were fated ; 

And when her senses seemed about to leave her, 

She woke one morning in a raging fever. 



Barbara Allen. 181 



XXIV. 

The Scarlet doctors were convened together, 

To sit in consultation on the case, 
And chiefly to decide the question whether 

The mind or body was the morbid place. 
One called it cold ; one thought it was the weather ; 

One deemed it typhus, from its present face. 
They feared it might extend when it should leave 

her, 
And fill the village with a Scarlet fever. 

XXV. 

But Barbara felt the whole disease was love. 
And found her strength fast giving way before it ; 

And when she raved, she called on Jemmy Grove, 
Sent for a dandelion flower, and wore it. 

A last repentance no one could reprove ; 

Death was at hand ; Hwas useless to ignore it ; 

She warned all maids against the sin she fell in, 

And died at last repentant Barbara Allen. 



182 Barbara Allen 



MORAL. 

Let all wise farmers and all men of sense 
Give this sad tale a due consideration ; 

And then allow themselves on no pretence 
To give their girls an over education ; 

It quite upsets their giddy heads, and hence 

May give them notions much above their station ; 

And ends, at last, in all the ends attending 

Mistaken tastes, and broken hearts past mending. 



% Midi Street feloijiie. 



m ®. m |. 



(183) 



I had forgot, — tliree months — you told me so — 

Well then — yom* bond ; and let me see — But hear you ; — 

Methought you said you neither lend nor borrow 

Upon advantage. 

Shajkspeahe, Merchant of Venice. 

(184) 



A WALL STREET ECLOaUE. 

BY T. W. P. 
Melibgeus. 

TpRIEND Tityrus, you reclining here at ease, 
-^ "With much or little business, as you please, 
Rent a large office, fit for those that win. 
With anterooms, to take your pigeons in ; 
A man of capital and good reno-wn. 
Giving big dinners in your house up town, 
With a snug country box, made fast for life. 
And a gay turnout for your faster wife ; — 
Say how you got and keep these golden eggs, 
When we, poor dogs, can hardly keep our legs ; 
When stocks are down, and notes are falling due, 
And money can't be borrowed — even of you. 

(185) 



186 A Wall Street Eclogue 



T I T Y R U S 



Meliboeus, you surprise me sore ; — 

1 thought you knew a thing or two, before. 
In this great city, famed for doubtful play, 
Where ups and downs are common every day, 
A knowing broker, like the quick-nosed shark, 
Should swim attendant on the sinking bark. 
Cargoes are lightened ere the ship goes down. 
And debtors yield their trunks before they drown. 
A certain decency forbids neglect, 

And notes and bills, though doubtful, claim respect. 
A great deal may be done with little said ; 
Corpses look best when shaved before they're dead. 

Melibceus. 

Of notes and bills most heartily I'm sick ; 

IVe cried them down, and shaved them to the 

quick ; 
And when I thought a fortune safe in store. 
The things turned out more worthless than before.^ 



A Wall Street Eclogue. 187 



TlTYRTJS. 

Get an indorser, some confederate duck, 
Whose name, just now, is up for skill and luck ; 
Crack up the note, and cite its various props, 
But take good care to sell it ere he stops. 
In most transactions of impending doubt 
You can't be too quick in, nor too quick out. 

Melibcbus. 

I deal in articles of staple worth ; 

Good solvent stocks, indorsements, and so forth. 

I never like to make a thing my own 

Till some intrinsic value can be shown. 

TlTYRUS. 

I deal in fancies, though not worth a sous, 
Yet such as keep some glorious prize in view ; 
In mines of copper, gold, and diamonds rough, 
A fortune sure to those who dig — enough ; 
In rotten railroads, that keep running yet 
"With heavy loads of merchandise and debt ; 



188 A Wall Street Eclogue 



Forced to put up witli loss, and wear and tear, 
But never venturing to put up their fare ; 
In damaged steamers, when the worn-out ship 
May keep afloat, perhaps, for one more trip ; 
In banks filled up with loads of paper trash, 
"Whose own directors borrow all the cash ; 
In manufactures managed by your friends, 
Agents, not owners, bagging dividends ; 
In lands which give, when retailed by the foot, 
Your money back, and fifty fold to boot ; 
Enough to put an end to all the troubles 
Of wanton boys, who like to swim on bubbles. 

Melibceus. 

I laud the Bears, who sift all worthless stuff, 
And talk it down, to buy it low enough. 
Few things are saddled with so deep a curse 
That dexterous croaking cannot make them worse. 
Refuse at first, yet buy before you sup : """ 

Things flattest down are soonesf looking up. 



A Wall Street Eclogue. 189 



TlTYRUS. 

I love the Bulls, who give their generous care 
To keep the falling stocks at prices fair ; 
Whose liberal eyes can see redeeming traits 
In things past hope, and ruined, spite of fates ; 
Who jflit about, benign as fairy elves. 
And crack up things that soon must crack them- 
selves ; 
Who uphold bubbles of all names and sorts, 
With kind regard in reference to the shorts. 

Melibcbus. 

Once to my desk a brother broker came, 
Told his sad tale, and so I lent my name. 
Fool that I was ; ere three weeks had gone by 
The villain was hard up, — and so was I. 

TiTYRUS. 

And at my doors a greenhorn late appeared — 
A tempting case — an heir without a beard. 



190 A Wall Street Eclogue. 



His money seemed to jingle as he went, 
Like bubbling boilers, wanting only vent. 
He heard the ready was in great demand. 
And ten per cent a month was paid off hand ; 
He wished to act distinctly for the best, 
So merely begged I'd help him to invest. 
His doubtful case I pondered long and well, 
Eeflecting much on all I had to sell ; 
I took his gold, and gave him notes instead — 
I think he since has wished himself in bed. 
When next he came to tax me with my crimes, 
I preached a sermon on the horrid times. 

Melibceus. 

Thanks, worthy Tityrus, for your counsels grave ; 
I'll try to be more sharp, when next I shave. 

TiTYKUS. 

My customers appear — they look perplexed — 
Be seated, gentlemen. Sir, 'tis your turn next. 



%\t %mtxim\ Cfiitgitss. 



(191) 



Lorsque se mirent en bon ordre et bien serrez. Et Pan- 

tagruel tira sa langue seulement a demy, et les en couvrit com- 

me une geline faict ses pouUetz. 

Kabelais. 

(192) 



THE AMERICAN CONGRESS, 



BY G. W. B. 

T ET the Capitol be opened — the spangled ban- 

^^ ner flung ; 

Let every patriot rally now, prepared to use his 

tongue. 
A stream is moving up the steps, and entering in 

the door ; 
Columbia calls her deep-mouthed sons forthwith 

to take the floor. 



Maine, from her farthest borders, sends her first 

exulting shout ; 
Her deep pine timber lands have let some knotty 

members out. 

13 (193) 



194 The Amerigan Congress 



New Hampshire, on her granite hills, has acted 

as was fit ; 
She sends no representatives but what are found 

true grit. 
Vermont, with her Green Mountain Boys, gives a 

triumphant cheer ; 
You'll find them not so very green, when once you 

get them here. 
Old Massachusetts moves along, a frigate under 

sail, 
Prepared to harpoon any thing that's very like a 

whale. 
Rhode Island promptly toes the mark, equipped 

for peace or war, 
With Roger Williams on her flag, — and also 

Thomas Dorr. 
Connecticut accepts the gage, intent to bandy 

knocks 
For the birthplace of old Barnum and the land of 

wooden clocks, r a- 



The American Congress. 195 



New York pours in her hards and softs, and fifty 
factions more ; 

Shell have a dozen newer names before the year is 
o^er. 

New Jersey sends her oystermen on patriotic 
cruise ; 

You'd think again that Monmouth field or Tren- 
ton was let loose. 

Great Pennsylvania in the midst her sturdy sons 
turns out, 

To fight for coal and iron mines, for whiskey and 
sour krout. 

And Delaware from her just claim will not abate 
a tittle, 

But glories in (what none gainsay) the sobriquet 
of '' little.^' 

Embracing in her ambient arms the mighty Chesa- 
peake, 

Old Maryland comes forward next, and claims 
her chance to speak. 



196 The American Congress 



Virginia, old Virginia, — Virginny never tire ; 
Her Tuckahoes, if need should be, can raise their 

voices higher. 
North Carolina, too, the land of tar and rosin, 
Will send you light-wood orators, to flash up by 

the dozen. 
South Carolina, with her chivalry and thun- 
der, 
Will show her teeth and nullify, but don't mean to 

knock under. 
Old Oglethorpe's dominion, the empire of the 

south, 
Means to defend her Georgian rights, even at the 

stumper's mouth ; 
While Alabama's younger state, that rapidly has 

got on. 
Will raise her voice at any time to raise the price 

of cotton. 
Then Florida, that flowery land, may well be 

called celestial, 



The American Congress. 197 



Her pools and everglades have left so little of ter- 
restrial. 

Rough Mississippi still repudiates and blusters, 

Blest land of <30tton and of corn, nor less of filli- 
busters. 

Louisiana in proud state her bayous keeps in 
view ; 

When logs and rafts are all removed, perhaps 
she'll go it through. 

Huge Texas, largest in extent, though young by 
annexation. 

Thinks old Sam Houston quite enough to vivify a 
nation ; 

And Arkansas, that rowdy state, where cards are 
still the passion. 

In toothpicks and in Bowie knives claims to have 
set the fashion. 

Upon her broad and rushing stream Missouri next 
reposes, 

The rallying place of compromise — now threat- 
ening bloody noses. 



198 The American Congress. 



Old Tennessee, a glorious land for horses, men, 

and cattle, ^ 
Once followed General Jackson down to New Or- 
leans to battle. 
Kentucky rises on onr sight, the honored and 

abhorred ; 
The land of generous Henry Clay, the land of 

Matthew Ward. 
From mighty lake to river broad, where railroads 

take their birth, 
Ohio stretches north and south its corn producing 

earth. 
Broad Indiana's Hoosier sons her fame must 

needs keep good, 
By healthful sport of rolling logs and stumping 

in the wood. 
The prairies of old Illinois, where buffaloes 

roamed of yore. 
Have driven them, and Mormons off, and mean to 

keep the floor. 



The American Coxriiess. 199 



The lake-encircled Michigan already proves too 

great ; 
Her Ontonagon copper fields must form another 

state. 
Far off, in northern latitudes, and skirting to the 

west, 
Of rough and tumble lumber men Wisconsin 

sends the best. 
Young Iowa, exuberant in her soil, as well as 

men, 
Shall spread her future millions west, beyond the 

farthest ken, 
Till on the broad Pacific generations yet untold 
Shall spend their strength, and lose their lives, for 

Californian gold. 

Come on, ye stump men eloquent, in never-ending 

stream, 
Let office be your glorious goal, and Bunkum be 

your theme ; 



200 The American Congress 



The vast and vaulted Capitol shall echo to your 

jaws, 
And universal Yankeedom shall shout in your 

applause ! 



%n litbignation Pwtiitg. 



§g % C0inptt)|. 



(201) 



What yesternight our council did decree 
In forwarding this dear expedience. 

Shakspeabe, King Henry IV. 

(202) 



AN INDIGNATION MEETING. 

BY THE COMPANY. 
Opening the Meeting. 

IQROTHER bards, fellow reptiles, and grovellers 
-^ in dust, 

The down-trodden victims of ill-reposed trust ; 
Defrauded, deceived, and betrayed in your right ; 
Wronged, wretched, and rabid ; thrice welcome 

to-night ! 
Let the sky, earth, and ocean attest what you 

feel ; 
Let the far Rocky Mountains reecho your peal. 
It is moved, as a prelude to open the fight. 
That Phoebus McGrumble be chairman to-night. 

(203) 



204 An I x\ dig nation Meeting. 



'Tis a vote. Now lead off with your bursts and 

your sallies. 
Three cheers for Mc Grumble ! Three groans for 

the Palace ! 

(^Cheers and groans.) 
Chairman. 

Good friends, sweet friends, let me not stir you up 

To any sudden act before you sup. 

Accept my thanks. You'll find me stanch and 

true. 
IVe seen your grievances, and felt them too. 
Let circumspection be your wary guide. 
And heaven-eyed prudence linger at your side : 
Then a new era shall dawn forth to-night, 
And vengeance, slow, but sure, overtake the right. 
On rhyming gibbets reared athwart the sky. 
Shall tyrants and defrauders dangle high, 
Till men shall learn who handle us so shabbily, 
'Tis rash to beard the " genus irritabile." 

{^Applause.') 



Ax Indignation Meeting. 205 



First Speaker. 

Howl, howl, howl, howl ! 0, ye are men of granite, 
And slavery^s curse has choked your throats to- 
night ! 
You and your foes still ride the self-same planet, 

Nor dare you bolt for liberty and right. 
Kidnapping fiends have caught you in their man 
net ; — 
Why sleep the hounds of havoc, blood and fight ? 

(^Great applause.) 
Second Speaker. 

Let them alone ! Unerring vengeance waits ! 

Their doom is fixed ; even now their fate is 
near. 
A funeral cavalcade assails their gates ! 

See, how they shake with fear ! 
A spectre horse awaits each mother^s son, 
And, will or nill, their death ride is begun. 

{Sensatio7i.) 



206 An Indignation Meeting. 



T HIRD S PEAKER. 

For spectral steeds let others wait ; 

For one, I heed them not ; 
I go for instantaneous right ; 

For Lynch law on the spot. 
A ride, indeed ! when we, poor bards, 

Eoughshod are ridden down. 
A rail ! a rail ! with valiant guards, 

To shake them round the town ! 

(^Violent applause.) 
Fourth Speaker. 

Rushing over pavements, 

Trotting through the street. 
Jolting up and down on 

Eather cruel seat ; 
Angry mob persist in 

Going it ahead ; 
But for name of riding, 

Better be abed. 

(^Applause and laughter*) 



An Indignation Meeting. 207 



Fifth Speaker. 

Alas ! good friends, what fury fills your brain ! 
Shall deeds of madness this occasion stain ? 
0, be it mine to check the threatened slaughter, 
And quench the kindling flames with milk and 

water. 
Sweet non-resistance, that, on Jordan's side. 
Through cool Cephissus pour'st thy balmy tide, 
Thee we invoke to help us to endure 
The weight of ills we know not how to cure. 

(^Silence, with some hisses,) 
Sixth Speaker. 

They sleep, they sleep! Our tyrants take their 

snooze, 
Floored by the croak of Jeremiah's muse ! 
Let Heliconian drugs their doze prolong, 
And steep their ear drums in Lethean song. 
I move a serenade in middle night. 
When owl-like bards their versos shall recite ; 



208 An Indignation Meeting. 



Beneath the strains of such lethargic cant 
They'll sleep till doomsday with the dismal chant. 

{Silence and yawning*^ 
Seventh Speaker. 

I go for stumping. Take them in the bud, 
Ere lenient judges overlook their crime ; 

Pelt them with slang, bespatter them with mud, 
Cry havoc, and let loose the dogs of rhyme ! 

Adjourn this meeting for a wider floor, 

A world's convention in the Park at four ! 

Give me a tub, and Ajax asks no more! 

{Applause*') 
Eighth Speaker. 

The press, the press, to every freeman dear ! 
The press shall utter, and the world shall hear 
What mighty wrongs an injured race can bear ; 
What outraged faith outrageous man can dare. 
Let printing imps with loaded ybrm^ appear, 
And serried columns charge them in the rear, 



An Indignation Meeting. 209 



Till long lampoons shall hunt the recreants down, 
And general vengeance hoot them through the 
town. 

{Three times three.) 

Speakek in Sapphic. 

Why should the men monopolize the floor here, 
When there are mouths more eloquent than theirs 

are? 
I, sir, for one, should lij^e to hear the ladies 

Speak their opinions. 

{Vehement ajjplazise,) 

Six Speakers at once. 

1 . For woman's rights let woman's writings speak ! 

2. For woman's wrongs let injured woman shriek ! 

3. Do not our volumes load the vender's shelves? 

4. Let Tom and Ida answer for themselves ! 

5. For mercy now the Palace sues in vain ! 

6. Deceived for once, we trust not man again ! 

14 {Nine cheosfor the ladies,) 



210 An Indignation Meeting, 



Ninth Speaker. 

Friends, victims, and countrymen, rise, one and all. 

United we stand, or divided we fall ! 

Let our faithless oppressors be told to their loss 

That we spurn their base gold, and reject it as 
dross ; 

Let a basket be brought, (I should like to begin 
it;) 

Let all your piece-offerings be tumbled within it ; 

The precious result shall astound them at least 

When it streams from the press, like a light from 
the east ; 

When the public shall hasten to lavish their gold, 

And award us the prize which these niggards with- 
hold. 

(^A basket is hr ought y and iynmediately filled,^ 

The avails we'll divide, whether cash, lands, or 

houses. 
And the shares of the ladies shall go to their 

spouses. 

{Tumult.^ 



An Indignation Meeting. 211 



Ten Speakers at once. 

1. Must woman's rights be trampled under feet? 

2. Shall wives earn bread, that worthless drones 

may eat ? 

3. I'll rouse 'gainst man my intellectual strength ! 

4. I'll cut my costume to a bloomer's length ! 

5. No verse of mine shall on such terms abide ! 

6. Nor mine ! 7. Nor mine ! 8. Nor any one's 

beside ! 

{The ladies indignantly withdraw their contributions.) 
Chairman. 

My dear, good ladies, but a moment stay. 
Alas ! you bear our chiefest prize away ! 
Too oft, in sooth, our hapless race has known 
It is not good for man to be alone. 
A single life, God knows, we all abhor ; 
How, single-handed, can we breast this war ? 

{^Ladies still froion.) 



212 An Indignation Meeting 



{To the Gentlemen,^ 

Dejected listeners, earth's forlornest hope, 

I give your choice, the laurel or the rope. 

If quite despairing at rebuffs like these, 

There swings the cord, and yonder wave the trees. 

But, if as men you dare assert the right. 

Close your thinned ranks, and recommence the 

fight ; 
Eaise one great paean in the cause of song. 
Grasp the green bays, and publish, right or wrong ; 
Hang out your banner on the outward wall. 
Blow your horn-blasts, till Jericho shall fall. 
Then fields shall smile beneath the Muses' reign, 
And years Saturnian glad the world again ; 
Eelenting ladies shall your deeds approve, 
And earth grow green with poetry and love. 

{Exeunt ladies and gentlemen, arm in arm*) 



Stiies. 



ig t\t |tiWfe|mg C0mmittw. 



(213; 



JAl^OR Tt-: 



NOTES. 

BY THE PUBLISHING COMMITTEE. 

Title Page. 

" E0LOPOESIS5" from aiolog, various, and noirjGig^ 
poetry. The cognomen Rejected Poems, or Rejected 
Pearls, might have been suitable, had not " Rejected 
Addresses ^^ become classical on the other side of the 
water. 

Page 1. 

Crystal Palace. — Since the celebrated Moon hoax, 
which gave sudden employment to the compositors 
of many hundred newspapers, we are not aware that 
astronomers have noticed any perturbation in the liter- 
ary zodiac at all comparable to that which has given 

(215) 



216 Notes. 



birth, to the various contributions making the con- 
tents of the present volume. 

Page 12. 
** Fort Dearborn reared across their tracky 

This old wooden fortress is standing, in good pres- 
ervation, at Chicago, and may be said to constitute 
the principal antiquity of the place. It is built in the 
style of the frontier block houses, of logs well fitted 
together, and with the upper story projecting over the 
lower, so as to assist the defence, and render an esca- 
lade difficult. 

Page 26. 

** They say papyrus turiis to Bovey coal,'* 

The Herculaneum manuscripts, it is well known, 
are of a black color, which appearance had been at 
first ascribed to the action of the hot lava of Vesu- 
vius. But geologists now find the condition of these 
papyri to be the same with that of some of the more 
recent fossil coals in which the organic texture is 



Notes. 217 



still visible, and which owe their carbonaceous char- 
acter to their long subterranean repose. 

Page 28. 
*^Faitscics invetited printing ^^ &c. 

A respect for historic truth obliges us to acknowl- 
edge that Faust was not the original inventor of the 
art of printing, having been preceded in this opera- 
tion by Coster, Guttenberg, and others. Nevertheless, 
Faust printed the first edition of the Bible, and the 
sudden multiplication of so many copies, exactly re- 
sembling each other, drew down upon him the sus- 
picion of holding intercourse with the only personage 
who was admitted, in those days, to be competent to 
such a performance. The circumstances of his inter- 
esting copartnership with the devil have brought to 
his defence the genius of Goethe and of Retzsch, 
who have certainly immortalized his claim. For 
ourselves, the delicate relation in which we are at 
present placed obliges us to support him as the 
true poetical inventor of the typographical art. 



238 Notes. 



Page 31. 

A Hexameter Romance, 

Altliough many attempts have been made to coerce 
English poetry into the shackles of classic hexame- 
ter, such efforts have generally resulted in the pro- 
duction of stiff, hobbling, and prosaic lines, which 
would hardly be recognized as verse, were it not 
for their initial capitals. The reader is obliged " to 
understand, not feel, the lyric flow," if lyric it can 
be called. This is not because any absolute vice in 
our language forbids its adaptation to the stately 
measure of the ancient poets, but it is because those 
who have aspired to the use of this versification in 
English have endeavored to counterfeit the eupho- 
nious tones of the Greeks and Romans, by intro- 
ducing strong and harsh accents in places which 
admit only liquid and easy quantities, like those 
which abound in the classic languages. A strongly- 
accented dactyl at the beginning of a line, although 
musical in the best Latin and Greek examples, is 



Notes. 219 



often fatal to the melody of an English hexameter. 
There may be art, but no possible poetry, in such 

lines as these : — 

'' Tliis was the letter which came when Adam was leaving the 

cottage : 
If you can manage to see me before going oif to Dartmoor, 
Come by Tuesday's coach through Glencoe, (you have not 

seen it,) 
Stop at the feny below, and ask your way (you will wonder, 
There, however, I am) to the Bothie of Toper-na-fuosich." 

Clough's Topernafiiosich. 

Mr. Coleridge thus hexametrizes the old " coelum 
undique et undique pontus : " — 

"Nothing before and nothing behind but the sky and the 



Which might be improved thus : — 

Nothing before and nothing behind but the prose and the bad 
verse. 



220 Notes. 



We gravely ask whether the following clerical 
exhortation be prose or poetry : — 

"What is that ye do, my childi'en? What madness has 
seized you ? Forty years of my Hfe have I labored among 
}-oii, and taught you, not in word alone, but in deed, to love 
one another ! Is this the firuit of my toils, of my 'S'igils, and 
prayers, and privations ? Have you so soon forgotten ail 
lessons of love and forgiveness ? This is the house of the 
Prince of Peace ; and would you profane it thus with violent 
deeds, and hearts overflowing T\ith hatred ? " 

And we make the same inquiry in regard to the 
following medical opinion : — 

^* Only beware of the fever, my friends, beware of the 
fever! for it is not like that of our cold Acadian chmate, 
cured by weariag a spider hung round one's neck in a nut- 

sheU." 

Also the following account of a blacksmith : — 

" There at the door they stood, ^^dth wondering eyes, to 
behold him take in his leathern lap the hoof of a horse, as a 



Notes. 221 



plaything, nalKng a shoe in its place ; while near him the 
tire of a cart wheel lay like a fiery snake, coiled round in a 
circle of cinders. * * * Warm by the forge they watched 
the laboring bellows, and, as its panting ceased, and the sparks 
expired in the ashes, merrily laughed, and said they w^ere nuns 
going into the chapel." 

The above extracts are from Longfellow's Evan- 
geline, which the public discover to be poetry, when 
they find them laid out in lines of regular dimen- 
sions, beginning with capital letters. 

For the success of an English hexameter verse, 
the genius of the language requires not only the 
frequent combination of mutes and liquids, as in the 
round and graceful accents of the ancient poetical 
authors, but it also requires the general and pre- 
dominating use of the spondee, and the avoidance 
of the dactyl, in the first foot of the line. 

" Formosum pastor Cory don ardebat Alexin." 

Virgil. 

" Qui fit Maecenas, ut nemo quam sibi sortem." 

Horace. 



222 Notes. 



Are suitable examples from whicli to construct Eng- 
lish hexameters. The poetical character of the fol- 
lowing lines cannot be extinguished by any change 
of collocation : — 

" All day she marched in the burning rays of the hot sun ; 
all night she slept on the damp, cold couch of the bare 
ground ; sometimes she didn't get any thing to eat for a fort- 
night, then had to dig roots, and bolt cold frogs for her 
breakfast." 

Page 34. 

" He left Mudfog, made a slope, and went off to Texas*' 

Not many years ago, it v/ill be recollected that 
emigration to Texas was the common resource of 
adventurers, rowdies, insolvent gamblers, and disap- 
pointed lovers. We congratulate that growing state, 
that the tide of this peculiar emigration is now 
diverted to California. 



Notes. 223 



Page 39. 
•< Sometimes she didn't get any thing to eat for a fortnight.''^ 

The power of certain persons to endure abstinence 
from food for a long period has been recorded by 
many authors. Pliny, the naturalist, says a man 
may live seven or eleven days without food or drink. 
Democritus subsisted forty days by only smelling of 
food. Ann Moore, the celebrated fasting woman in 
Staffordshire, lived twenty months, if we may believe 
her, without food or drink ; but there is supposed to 
have been some spiritual assistance, or table tipping, 
in her case. People are said to have subsisted a 
long time on their own tears and sighs, and this may 
have been the case with Erminia and Blouzelinda, 

Page 52. 

'* No one on every side is blest,'* 

nihil est ab omni 

Parte beatum. 

HoKACE, Od. II. IG. 



224 Notes 



Page 54. 



<< For in the air they did declare 
Was a dreadful, awful drumming,'* 

The old ballad of The Windham Frogs commemo- 
rates an event in the history of that town, which, 
but for the conservative virtues of song, might ere this 
time have gone into oblivion. The historic narrative 
sets forth that in a certain season of unusual drought, 
a large pond inhabited by the ranine species became 
nearly dry. The frogs, taking alarm at the signs 
of the times, and fearing the sinister influence of 
the dogstar, having, it is presumed, consulted the 
oracles, and taken up their penates, commenced a 
general exodus, or rather stampede, across a ridge 
of land which separated them from a neighboring 
and deeper pool. Secrecy, and the natural dislike 
entertained by frogs for a dry throat, induced them 
to undertake their journey about midnight. On 
their march it became very difficult to keep within 
the ranks the younger members, who are not only 



Notes. 225 



found to be impatient of tliirst, but of an impet- 
uous and discursive temper when out of water. 
Hence, the general croak, consisting, we presume, 
of words of command, signs and countersigns, and 
the calling in of stragglers, produced such a tre- 
mendous noise that the frightened inhabitants be- 
lieved, says the legend, that the day of judgment 
had arrived. 

Page 55 

** Thy unimpedesii natural song 
Was hrekekeXi koax,'* 

According to Aristophanes, when the god Bac- 
chus was ferried by Charon across Lake Acherusia, 
he was greeted on his way by an obstreperous chorus 
of frogs, the burden of whose song was, Brekekekex, 
koax, koax. The anger as well as the rivalship of 
the god appear to have been provoked, and a mu- 
sical concert ensued, in which the navigator was 
drowned, at least as to his voice, by the overwhelm- 
15 



226 Notes 



ing concord of his adversaries. He appears to have 
been glad to escape from the boat with the payment 
of double fare to the ferryman. Our Hellenists have 
found some difficulty in arriving at a satisfactory 
translation of the classical brekekekex koax. Never- 
theless the phrase is reported to have been faithfully 
done into English, and set to music for a march, by 
the migrating frogs of Windham. 

Page 57. 

*^'Tis said they sometimes turn thee otit, 
Alive, aicake, and kicking.'* 

The popular belief that frogs, and especially toads, 
are occasionally found embedded in the wood of old 
trees, in strata of clay, and even in solid rock, is 
attested by numerous scientific records of former 
times, and by many paragraphs of respectable news- 
papers in modern days. We are of opinion that 
the curious observers of nature might even now fur- 
nish many interesting items of this sort, to swell 



Notes. 227 

and enliven the jejune column of a daily telegraphic 
despatch. The monotonous character of a life of a 
few thousand years, spent in limited quarters, is 
well depicted in " The Toad's Journal," by Jane 
Taylor, published in the " Contributions of Q. Q." 
Notwithstanding various efforts at amusement and 
occupation put in practice by this reptile, and not- 
withstanding his delightful reminiscences, reveries, 
and century-lasting dreams, he seems at last to have 
fallen a victim to ennui — the besetting curse of un- 
occupied mortals. It appears, he 

" Grew pensive, discovered that life is a load, 
Began to be weary of being a toad." 

What would not geologists give if they could 
confirm or disprove their conjectural histories by the 
ocular observations and direct testimony of a contem- 
poraneous toad? 



228 Notes 



Page 58. 

" The Jew Apella may believe »'* 

" Credat Judaeus Apella, 

Horace. 
Page 65. 



Non ego." 



** Who looidd wear a livery ^ pray f 
Who a second fiddle play 1 
Who he second best alway. 

But self- despised New Yorli f " 

It is expected that the foregoing lines will be 
set to the tune of " Scots wha ha," and sung on 
public occasions as a civic anthem by the free and 
enlightened citizens of the great commercial metrop- 
olis. 

Page 70. 

" Emporium shall that title be." 

Among the Greeks Emporos signified a mer- 
chant, Emporia merchandise, and E7nporion (called 



Notes. 229 



in Latin and English Emporium) was a mart, a place 
of trade, a great commercial centre, a resort and 
residence of mercantile men. There were several 
ancient cities of this name in Italy, Sicily, Mace- 
donia, and elsewhere. Strange to tell, in the United 
States, the most name-demanding country in the 
world, there is not a respectable post-office bearing 
this appellation. We venture to predict, as the result 
of the suggestions in the present volume, that a dozen 
towns bearing the name will spring up in the next 
dozen years, provided the mistaken Gothamites should 
prove so blind to their own interests as to turn a 
deaf ear to our solemn and oracular warnings. 

Page 79. 

" Thy tongue f if thou hadst one, 
Creation has drowned,** 

The fact that Chaos had a voice rests chiefly on 
the authority of the poets : — 



230 Notes 



"Nine days they fell — coiifounded Chaos roared." 

Milton. 

" All heaven resounded, and the astonished dee^D 

Of Chaos bellowed vdth. the monstrous roar." 

Maurice. 

Page 89. 

" Or the Romans made deserts, a7id nicJinamed it ^ peace' " 

" Solitudinem faciunt, pacem appellant," ^vas the 
complaint of some of the conquered nations who 
v\^ere made to partake the peaceful results of contact 
with the E-oman legions. 

Page 99. 

*' King Richard the Thirds take your place on the stand.'* 

In Horace Walpole's " Historic Doubts on the 
Life and Reign of King Richard IH.," an elaborate 
vindication of the character of that monarch is 
summed up in the following manner : — 

" I have thus gone through the several accu- 



XOTES. 231 



sations against Richard, and have shown that they 
rest on the slightest and most suspicious ground, if 
they rest on any at all. I have proved that they 
ought to be reduced to the sole authorities of Sir 
Thomas More and Henry the Seventh ; the latter 
interested to blacken and misrepresent every action 
of Richard, and, perhaps, driven to father on him 
even his own crimes. I have proved that More's 
account cannot be true. I have shown that the 
writers contemporary with Richard either do not ac- 
cuse him, or give their accusations as mere vague 
and uncertain reports ; and what is as strong, the 
writers next in date, and who wrote earliest after 
the events are said to have happened, assert little 
or nothing from their own information, but adopt 
the very words of Sir Thomas More, Avho was abso- 
lutely mistaken or misinformed." 

Since the investigations of Walpole, some further 
vindications of the character of Richard have been 
brought forward by Turner, Halstead, and others. 



232 Notes 



Page 100. 

** A mysterious man, with a thich iron mash ? ** 

The name of the Iron Mask {Masque de Fer) has 
served to designate a man who died a century and 
a half ago, and in regard to whom much curiosity 
has prevailed, in consequence of deep mystery attend- 
ing his name, birth, and condition. According to 
Voltaire and others, who have interested them.selves 
in researches relating to him, an unknown prisoner 
was brought, in 1662, to the Chateau de Pignerol, 
of which Saint Mars was at that time governor. He 
is represented as of tali stature, noble mien, and 
graceful deportment. He wore constantly a thick 
mask of velvet, reported to be of iron, and his 
attendants had orders to kill him instantly, if lie 
should make the slightest attempt to discover him- 
self. Four years afterwards he was removed, with 
great caution, to the Island of Sainte Marguerite. 
Here he was visited by the Marquis de Louvois, who 
addressed him standing, and always with the greatest 



Notes, 233 

♦ 

respect. He is said to have been served at table by 
the governor himself, who, after placing the dishes, 
retired and locked the door. There are stories of 
his having written some account of himself on a 
silver plate, and also on a linen shirt, which he threw 
into the water beneath his window. The last was 
picked up by a priest, who, as a check to curiosity, 
was soon after found dead in his bed. The plate 
was found by a fisherman, and carried to the gov- 
ernor, who, after imprisoning him for some days, let 
him off, on being satisfied that he was unable to 
read. 

In 1698 the prisoner was removed to the Bastile, 
where he died in 1703. He was never permitted 
to w^alk in the courts of that fortress, nor to lay 
aside his mask for a moment, even when visited by 
a physician. He was, however, lodged in handsome 
apartments, with rich furniture, and was always 
treated with the respect due to a personage of ex- 
alted rank. After his death the walls of his apart- 
ment were scraped and whitewashed, and the cushions 



234 Notes. 



ripped open, to guard against any possible commu- 
nication or inscription capable of throwing light on 
the history of the unknown occupant. 

It is needless to say that many conjectures have 
been made as to the name and character of the mys- 
terious prisoner, no one of -which is satisfactory. 
Some have supposed him to be the Count de Ver- 
mandois, a son of Louis XIV. Others believe him 
the Duke of Beaufort, previously reported to have 
been killed at the siege of Candia. He is also 
represented as no other than the unfortunate James, 
Duke of Monmouth, the same who was, in reality, 
executed on Tower Hill ; also as a son of Anne of 
Austria, queen of Louis XIII. Finally, some have 
thought him a twin brother of Louis XI Y., con- 
cealed, as has been stated, to prevent the dangerous 
rivalry which might attend a discovery of his person. 

Madame Campan appears to think that the im- 
portance of this personage and of the whole affair 
has been much exaggerated. 



Notes. 235 



Page 102. 

" The accurst Torquemada is called to appear'' 

Thomas de Torquemada, the grand inquisitor, 
was confessor to Queen Isabella of Castile, who seems 
to have been indebted to his counsels for the intro- 
duction of the Inquisition, the expulsion of the 
Jews from Spain, and other pious acts, which have 
given her in all history the well-merited title of 
'-' the Catholic." The illustrious reign of Ferdinand 
and Isabella was certainly a harvest time for the 
Holy Office. In the sixteen years of Torquemada's 
administration the number of heretics, Jews, &:c., 
actually burned at the stake, has been variously esti- 
mated at from eight thousand eight hundred to 
more than ten thousand, besides a vast number 
consigned to prison for life, or punished by confis- 
cation of their property. His rage for burning 
extended to the execution of many thousand effi- 
gies, many exhumed corpses, and included also an 



236 Notes 



auto da fe of six thousand valuable books at Sara- 
gossa. 

Page 112. 

" Had Louis hid kept to his favorite trade,* ^ 

The unfortunate Louis XVI. is represented, by 
some contemporaneous writers, as possessing consid- 
erable mechanical ingenuity. He often occupied 
himself, in his royal atelier^ with artificer's tools, 
as a means of recreation. Some works discovering 
ingenuity, such as locks and keys, and a pair of 
globes, are recorded among the results of his manu- 
facturing skill. 

Page 118. 

** And Witherington like, shout and fight upon stumps,** 

" For "Witherington I needs must wail 

As one in dolefLil dumps, 

For when both legs were smitten off 

He fought upon his stumps." 

Chevy Chase, 



Notes. 237 



Page 132. 



** Pope has said that great Queen Anna 
Counsel took, and then took tea." 

" Here thou, great Anna, whom three realms obey. 
Dost sometimes counsel take, and sometimes tea." 

Pope, Rape of the Lock. 

Page 144. 

** Each many as Salhist somewhere says. 
Is blacksmith to his fate,** 

" Fabrum esse quenquam fortunse suae." 

Sallust, ad C^s. 

Page 145. 

** Renowned old Vulca^i swung the sledge^ 
And so did General Greene** 

It is well known that Vulcan carried on the 
business of a smith, and employed a large force of 
Cyclop journeymen at his establishment under Mount 
^tna. By an advantageous contract with Jupiter 



238 Notes 



lie enjoyed for many years the monopoly of manu- 
facturing thunderbolts for the use of the sire of the 
gods. He labored in person at the anvil, and his 
general sooty appearance and shabby apparel are 
said to have rendered him somewhat degoutant to 
his wife Venus, whose more refined and inconstant 
taste gave her a partiality for the military costume 
of Mars. 

Major General Nathaniel Greene, tlnQ second hero 
of the American revolution, was the son of an anchor 
smith, and labored, while young, at his father's 
forge. ''It is a fact that he has been known to 
grind off the callosity of his hands, to render them 
more pliant when small work was to be done ; and 
such v/ere his efforts at the heavy work of the forge, 
as to produce a lameness, which attended him 

through life." 

Johnson's Life of Maj. Gen. Greency vol. i. p. 13. 

Page 146. 

** Bucephalus wore them 07i his hoof 
Redgauntlet on his face.*' 



Notes. 239 



Whether horseshoes were first worn by Bucepha- 
lus in the Macedonian campaigns, or by some of 
his successors of the same name, history does not 
state. Beekmann says the Romans shod their horses 
^\-ith iron, and we learn from some of their writers 
that Nero caused his mules to be shod with silver, 
and those of his empress with gold. In the fifth 
century horseshoes fastened to the hoofs with nails 
were used, under the name of " selinaia," from their 
" crescentic form." 

As to Redgauntlet, Scott says of him, " Ye maun 
ken, he had a way of bending his brows, that men 
saw the visible mark of a horseshoe in his forehead, 
deep-tinted, as if it had been stamped there." 

Page 146. 

** The sailoi\ in his desperate hour^ 
Shall hold his horseshoe fast.'^ 

It is a common belief among sailors that a horse- 
shoe, nailed to the mast, is effectual in keeping off 



240 Notes. 



witches. The fact is now so well established that 
no annoyance from the weird sisterhood has ever 
been known to take place where the precaution has 
been properly attended to. 

Page 198. 
" Ohio stretches north and south its corn-producing earth," 

The eminently fertile State of Ohio, with those 
west of it, in the same latitudes, may well deserve 
the epithet of which Homer made a more extensive 
application — i^eldcogog dgovga — corn-giving earth. 

Page 204. 

**'Tis rash to heard the genus irritahile," 

" Multa fero ut placem genus irritabile vatum." 

Horace, Epist, II. 2. 



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